A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

2015 so far

H Updated
Hi all, I'm still alive and kicking just! Thought I'd pop in for a little update. So I'm still in the house, just. Still not speaking to stbx. Things took a little downward spiral after she had me arrested for assault. I was no further auctioned after giving my side if the story. End of. No. I then get the non molestation order through 3 days later staying I'm not allowed to communicate with her unless about the kids. (Fine by me) and also not allowed in the main bedroom. Again fine I took what I need out and that was that. Until my little one took my iPad upstairs one morning watching peppa pig on YouTube. I thought nothing of it. She was laying on the bed next to stbx I went up to go to the toilet looked in her room to see her sitting there not a care in the world going through my emails and photos. Without thinking I walked in and took it off of her. Again nothing happened for a few days when I was asked to go to the police station. Here we go again! Long story short I was given a caution for breaking the non mol. I've now got an appointment at court to try and get it changed as it's her word against mine that I've been in the bedroom. All very silly. Apart from that everything is good. I'm getting on with things I have days of contentness. She is still very unhappy but that's her lookout. Still have days where I miss my family miss my old life but the thought of the future and what I can do is starting to outweigh that. I don't think she is seeing the OM anymore, if I said I didn't care I'd be a liar but it bothers me much much less than it used to in nearly at the point where I really don't care, her life her mistakes. My whole attitude to life has changed for the better, I don't stress about the little things anymore. When I think back to when I first introduced myself on here and ended up with probably the longest thread in wiki history I can't beleive that was me. They were dark times and I wouldn't want to go back there anytime soon. I haven't cried for weeks whereas before I couldn't go more than an hour. So if you are reading this at the very start of this awful process there is hope never ever lose it. Don't get me wrong I'm far from out the woods but I know I'll be ok now I didn't before. It's my little ones 8th birthday on Sunday and stbx has arranged a party for her school friends on the Saturday. I asked if I could come which she replied no. Fair enough. It upset me but like I say I don't stress over the small stuff anymore. It's only a party I'll get over it. The sun is out today. The days are getting longer. Hope is out there. Peace and love to you all.

User comments

To write a comment please register or
It´s good to hear a more positive HIWTHI. The memories of how you were in your first days on here are already fading and in time will dissipate completely.

Concentrate on what´s best for the children and ignore any further provocation from your stbx.
It's good to hear you are in a better place Hiwthi and that you haven't cried for weeks, that will turn into months soon for you hopefully. 14 months down the track I still have down days, as do we all even years later.

Please try and concentrate on you and your daugther. It must be hard with you all living under the same roof, not something I experienced thankfully Still onwards and upwards for us all.

Keep Posting

Good to hear from you, I was wondering what you were up to!. Just don't panic if you have a downturn and feel worse at some stage, it's all part of the roller coaster but the main thing is you're starting to feel better and care less which is in the right direction.
Hey Hiwthi

Good to hear you are feeling better and doing well and thinking towards future.
Good on you to have walked the walk and feel like better days are ahead - truly they are.

Get some time with your daughter on her birthday - it's special for both of you.

Mine chose not to Daughter's 21st, Son's 18th, regardless of age they are all special to our children and days they look back on.

Good luck and take good care of yourself.

Carly xx
Yeah still early days but I feel hope now whereas before I just felt despair. Still get the odd day where I feel down but can usually snap myself out if it. I feel like a different man to be honest, I look better I feel better. Maybe I realised now that the marriage was just not right however hard I tried to save it.
The date with the girl? No that was just a silly thing that I needed to get out my system, realise I don't need a woman in my life right now giving be more grief! If someone comes along then so be it. She can't hurt me (much) anymore and I feel free. As for the iPad it's got a pass code but it was off at the time and she jumped at the opportunity to have a look. Oh well onwards and upwards. There wasnt anything on there anyway.
Wondered where you and your last thread had got to.

You have entered the bedroom and taken something off her. You can't afford to behave like that, make sure your photos and emails are password protected. That way your privacy has to be respected.

You are still very early on in your journey and you are still at times acting first and thinking later. Be on your guard and don't get complacent as you can't afford to be impulsive.

Remarkable how you have moved on so quickly, did the date work out by the way?