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An anniversary of sorts


I'd known him for a few years professionally but hadn't seen him for over a year when I walked into the library that day and saw him.  He stood up and smiled that brilliant smile when he saw me and walked towards me and that is when I fell in love with him 25 years ago today.  We became inseparable until he decided to have an affair with my friend and colleague.

Since then I've had an affair with wikivorce.

Being part of this community helped me to see that there are patterns of common behaviours which make a kind of sense of what has happened. This was the very beginning of the healing process because the realisation that others have/are experiencing the same levels of deceit and lies and are coming through it gives hope to cling onto the belief that the pain will eventually subside and now I know it's true.

My husband had no need of a site like this because he wasn't the one left floundering. He would never have resorted to seeking support and guidance.   He used a lawyer, sacked one then sought out another.

For all I know he MAY have had legal advice here but I would happily bet my life that he would never feel the need to seek solace from a virtual community. He was absolutely sure in what he was doing, why would he seek support? He was so right you see.  Always, so right.

I think jj's comment about it taking time to know what we want is such an important concept to grasp. I simply could not ever see me getting through this and that fear gripped me day and night.  As an older wiki the feeling of desolation at being left to cope with however many years I may have was paralysing. Total shock.  PTSD was diagnosed and I was unable to see further than a few moments ahead.  

Family couldn't cope with my distress. My daughter was a rock but others didn't even call because I now know they couldn't cope with me, always the strong one, trying to piece together my broken life. 

Support from virtual friends on wiki began to make up for what my real friends and some members of my family found they couldn't provide.

My daughter, my one true real friend and my wikifriends have brought me to where I am today.

So my love, wherever you are, know that I will always love you.  Emotions cannot be switched off but I have found the dimmer switch at last.

I may one day be gone from wiki but wiki will never be gone from me.


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(((((Mitchum))))). you have helped and responded to me so many times on here. You are so supportive ofmy blogs and forums and always offer advice with a kind heart. Thankyou.

I truly hope you are ok and don't ever give up... your warmth and kindness are a true pillar of strength for many of us on here.

Take Care
I'm still new to this site, but by reading what everyone else has said, I know you are a very valued member here...
As I am older and was in a longer relationship with my H I know where you are coming from too...
I agree. True love has no bounds and it keeps pouring out of you. So many of us on here have been lucky enough to be on the receiving end. If you doubt anything do not doubt that you are a loving person. xx
Mitchum - if you had not given so much on wiki you could not have received all the accolades. Believe in them. You have touched and helped many people. That's quite an achievement Sc
How strangers put me back together again I don't know, but you did. Wiki friends kept telling me I was strong and I'm so gullible I believed you!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mitchum x

Hi Mitchum

Just wanted you to know that you are such a wonderful lady and a much loved wiki person. It is your ex who is losing out big time because there is no one who could possibly ever give him the love that you did. You are indeed, a treasure.
Best wishes xx
My dear dear friend - you were literally a guardian angel for me one night and I will never forget that. While you may feel valueless at times because of the shock you have been through be assured that your wiki friends know your real value. NEVER FORGET THAT.

And I know you refer to being an older wiki, but you have more energy and sense of adventure and insight than three of me.

Value yourself more, pleae Mithchu. sc
To the Legend that is Mitchum

Big hugs xx


You were, I clearly remember, one of the first people to respond to my first posts on this site at what was a really, really dark time for me. You gave me so much support and comfort and your words really helped me, so thanks for that.

And I'm so sorry that things look so bleak to you at the moment. Your story's so like mine - I was left after a similar amount of time together with my stbx, feeling like a washed up old hag - in fact my first avatar name was mrsoldhag. (I wear my heart on my sleeve. My ex used to say that's one of the things he liked about me. Apparently that became less beguiling with time!) I can do this. So can you. You take care and feel free to PM me if you want to chat, hugs, LS xx
Mitchum ((((()))))
You will always be a part of wiki - even if you leave - you will be there in the hearts and minds of all those you have helped and supported in their time of desparation and need.
Dakota xx
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