At least I don't want him back!!
Found out from my lawyer that all of x's businesses have gone bust. He has no income and is unlikely ever to have any (although he used to talk of earning £1m he never did, but he did make a good living until he walked out on us). What he does have is a lot of debt. So there will be no SM no CM and insufficient assets to have in lieu since there isn't even enough to cover housing needs. I have been out of the workforce looking after kids for 20 years (joint decision) and am not earning. He told me even a few months ago (when I was still hoping for a reconciliation, not realising the extent of his deception and mania) that he would pay joint lives maintenance and that I could retire in a few years (ie when the children were grown). He told me how well business was doing and how much he was enjoying work. He didn't tell me he was earning nothing, and he didn't tell me he was spending sometimes as much as £50k a month (!!!) on his enjoyment. He has not paid a penny towards the mortgage or bills of any kind and not even given his children a Xmas card never mind gift (though he continues to borrow to finance his own costs).. Icing on the cake: email to the lawyer suggests it's all my fault that his empire has crashed because he has had to spend all his time on (failing to) answer the questionnaire. I had to laugh. Is it any wonder I am gaga?