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Battling the frustrations

D Updated

This is my 3rd attempt to write this-increasing my frustration!! The 1st 2 attempts were at work, as b*****d stbx called home on Thurs eve + buggered up the computer, but I refuse to let him continue to try + beat me down. I managed to get hold of a very nice mobile repairer lady who has successfully-after 2.5 hrs + £40 managed to get my computer up + running again-phew.

Stbx invited my son to meet him at the large shopping centre 20miles from here on Sat. Why there?-he hates shopping anyday, but more so on busy Saturdays. I was immediately suspicious of his motives + voiced this to my son-I bet he wants you to meet the 'new woman'. My son said his girlfriend had also said that, but he thought his dad actually wanted to spend some time with him. Guess who was right? He didn't even have the decency to ask our son if he was ok with it! As a result my son is now angry with himself for agreeing to meet his dad-he said he felt really uncomfortable when she-with her 2 young daughters in tow-turned up. They even invited him back to 'their' place. Bearing in mind they have only been together 2 weeks!! Who in their right mind would introduce a new partner to their young kids that soon. My son is 20 + he's horrified, + also very upset at realising he has been manipulated + that his dad didn't actually want to spend time with him. I could scream with frustration. I want to phone him up + tell him what a selfish b*****d he is-but he wouldn't take any notice as he doesn't see himself like that. No doubt hes impressed his new love with his impeccable parenting skills-after all he has shown her what a lovely polite son he (joke!!!) has bought up. Nope, I'll take the credit for that one! Heaven help those 2 young girls having 2 supposedly recovering alcoholics bringing them up. If she thinks he'll be faithful + reliable, she will be in for a shock. Here's hoping she is as bad as he is + then it might make him think!

I came home from work, to find he's been here-eaten food from my cupboards, used the washing machine+ my washing liquid-so obviously wasn't a quick call in. I feel my personal space has been violated. What can I do to stop this? Absolutely nothing!!!

I see my petition has arrived. His solicitor is recommending he goes with the adultery that I have cited-because of the evidence " I am under the impression that I have" Heaven knows what that is meant to mean-I would have thought that the photos I have of stbx (+ not soon enough) having sex with another woman was more than just being "under the impression". Still, what would I know eh? Does the fact he is now living with another woman + he leaves his till receipts for condoms lying around count too? My blood boils!!!

I feel so impotent (if only he was!!!). His solicitor is telling him just to offer to pay 1/2 my costs in exchange for not contesting the petition!! Am I meant to be grateful for this? Forgive me for not being able to yet. What's karma?- I definitely haven't got any at the mo!

Scuse the ranting-better I hammer on the keyboard than b*****ds head!!

 

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I had the same situation, only my s2bx moved his girlfriend in 2 weeks after moving out, so it was meet her and spend time with me or not.I decided it would do the kids less harm than if they met her.Now 6 months down the line my daughter hardly bothers to see her dad(ahe is nearly 18) and son only sees him one day a fortnight, and both say they prefer to spend time with me. Hang in there.It will get easier and he will be the one that looses out in the long run.I just feel for the kids in our situation.But then this is of their making.When they are old enough they understand how it really is.
T
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i'm in the same situation as well. My stbx has pestered my two children to meet his gf for ages now. I know too well how it feels. I've got to the stage where there is nothing i can do about it now. It's up to them to decide whether they want too or not. It's so unfair that they are put in that position though, it's like having a gun to your head. It's spend time with their Dad, on his terms (which are meet me and the gf) or not see him at all. What selfish ba****ds they are eh?
i'm sure it does get easier though, as everything has, its just the matter of time.
Take care
J
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Been there Donnylass , my ex took our children aged 7 and 9 at the time to meet his g'f 3 weeks after he meet her.How did he meet her alledgy 8 days after we split he had the children for the saturday night not a problem took them to my sister's house 74 miles away and dumps the kids on my sister and goes night clubbing , this is the man whom no longer wants to see his kids but tells everyone what a wonderful dad he is , what a load of bolox me like you will take all the credit for bringing these 2 up.Let him get on with it Donny what goes around comes around honest and still there waiting for that day with a big smile on your face , cos i sure as hell am. :D
A