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Birthday Decisions.

H Updated
It was my 44th Birthday last week. My main observation was that although not old at 44 I was certainly nearer the end of the journey than the beginning. How many more spins round the sun on planet earth was I gonna get on the earth and not 6 foot under it.of the old three score years and ten. I work on the biblical number of the old three score years and ten as my rule of thumb, that's seventy for any people out there who don't understand the words or the others who understand the words but can't add up. Anyway I digress it's 26 years left. And I thought that ain't that fecking long. Then I got to thinking how my career financially over the last year has gone down the pan. I'm just about hanging onto a £24000 a year gross salary. The £1600 a month I take home I've spent it before I even get out of bed in the morning the day after pay day. There's £800 rent £400 to the ex harridan £100 council tax, £100 cable and broadband (luxury but what else am I gonna do?)£150 month gas,leccie and water rates,£100 fares to get to work.That's £1650 people and I ain't even bought any food yet. I live off previously earned money that I saved. So I took a look at where I was and I thought that is shxt. House prices in South East London have gone through the roof. Ive got more chance of seeing God than ever affording one. One bed flats are £170000. Then I get to thinking and this isn't fair. I done it I got qualifications at school, I worked hard, I owned a house that's now worth £500k that I paid for it all. Then I got fecked over by the ex harridan who's reward for fecking another bloke was she got everything I ever earnt. Not her, me I earnt it. I fecking resent it. Why should I be struggling financially for the rest of my life and that xxxx is living on easy street. The shxt she pulled last month was unbelievable. She is not only a shxt person. She's a shxt mother an all. She naturally played the I'm the parent with care card as the woman so she got 80% of the marital assets. Subsequently she has dragged the kids up. Since the ages of 7 and 9 her and Bazza have continually gone to the pub every night between 6 and 9pm and left them home alone. No interraction with the kids.No real home family life. She just pursues her own social life at all costs. She then throws into this mix some control freak sociopathy that she has to scream and shout at the kids to do whatever she chooses to flip out about for the 5 minutes a day she is around. Last month after another incident which she grabbed my daughter around. My daughter hit her back and reported the incident to the school. Who reported her to social services and the police. Of course she got the fix in with my daughter prior to the pre warned home visit and got her to retract the accusation and say that my daughter had attacked her and that any marks my daughter had on her were due to trying to restrain her. Of course the woman from social services bought it hook line and sinker and the report painted my daughter to be some sort of juvenile delinquent. At the same time the report made me out to be some dead beat Dad who couldn't care less. I certainly was apportioned more blame than the ex harridan let's say even though the only involvement I had was a phone call to tell me no further action two weeks after the incident to inform me a decision had been made.I hadn't been informed by police or social services or the ex harridan that there was even an investigation. SO YES SOCIAL SERVICES ARE FECKING ANTI MEN PROOF BEYOND DOUBT THROUGH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!! Anyway back to my evaluation of the situation and my life this week, after the ex harridan had her glowing evaluation from her social services buddies this week. She suddenly got extremely brave, her silence had been deafening prior to the report. On Wednesday she decided to phone me and read me the riot act that my son had not intended a job interview the week previously. He never bothered getting out of bed.Despite an hour of asking him. So in her opinion I had became irresponsible parent number one and couldn't give a shxt about anything and I was a liar as I covered for him saying he wasn't well and getting him the interview rearranged. In the end I told her straight well talking about liars. You're the fecking expert.Where do you want to start.Your affairs.The fact you leave your kids home alone every night Or maybe the social services fiasco where you lied so badly about attacking your daughter that you threw her under the bus as a juvenile delinquent to cover your rse. I also told her I've had enough of you. You fecking parasite in my life for 22 years half of it. In which time you've trousered a million pound off me for having two kids. So if you have to apply for a couple of job interviews for him don't fecking ambush me by sending him round mine the morning he has to get to them. When you're a pound note in front of me and anywhere near the sacrifices I've made for the kids then tell me I do feck all or don't care. Anyway I was surplus to requirements 7 years ago so don't pull the I don't fecking care card when it suits. We've been divorced 5 years. You are a shxt mother and a fecking psychopath who can't control your abusive behaviours and covers it all up and is incapable of admitting it,now don't ever ring me again.... FECK OFF, when she tried to interject,sorry do you require that in plainer English.......FECK OFF. Finally she hung up. So what was the outcome ........ I've blocked her number. It was 22 years ago that I made the mistake of not getting out at Happy Howards wine bar and stayed in the cab to my sisters party where I met it. 22 years is long enough to interract with a psycho for anyone. Of course she has tried to and failed spectacularly to twist all of this to the kids that I don't care about them and I'm a game player and that I don't want to see them. Which they know it's all bollox. She forgets that I actually have put the time in with them and have a proper realtionship with them and I've said no problem with you guys whatsoever just I'm no longer prepared to have your mother in my life at all. So there's my line finally drawn. All the best HRH xx

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Happy belated birthday Haway, be glad, be very glad you haven't got 26 years of living with the ex ahead of you....

daisygreen x
D
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Your nut job ex doesn't sound happy at all... A mate of mine said to me something that really stuck a chord. He said, 'you're going to have a much better life than your ex ever will'. He wasn't referring to material possessions, he was referring to outlook and attitude. I've met you, and you're a sound geezer.

I've also learnt that it's certainly okay to be p*ssed off and angry about stuff - by the sound of it you've got every fecking right to be! It's also important to make that concious decision to ensure what days, months, years and decades are the best ever - and you're no longer with that nightmare of an energy sucking harridan vampire. If you need a pint to celebrate (or be reminded of) this joyous fact, feel free to send me a PM.
J
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bl**dy hell Haway ease back on the bitterness it is bad for you, think positive. I also turned 44 a couple of weeks ago and the same thoughts went through my mind only 26 years to go, my new mortgage to pay out the STBX has 30 years to go. On a positive note you are only half way through your adult life, 44-18= 26
S
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Things to be grateful for. You have 26 years left to get revenge. According to your calculations I only have 7 :'(. And I agree with others, in a sense you already have revenge because her actions are those of a deeply unhappy person. I won't patronise you with reassuring (not) cliches about money not being everything because if fecking well nearly is, but you are a fighter and somehow I think it might eventually come right.
P
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HI Haway, sorry to hear your ex is such a nightmare. I agree with Snappyvan, you can bet she is unhappy, and blaming everyone except herself. You must be furious that she blamed your daughter for attacking her to Social services, what sort of mother would do that? Most would take the blame even if they had been attacked, not twist it around. Your kids know you're there for them, but keep your boundaries and cut her out of your life. V x
V
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Chin up. If her life was Rosen and she was happy, she wouldn't waste a thought let alone breath on you. It seems to me her life is rotten and the only thing she can do to try and justify it to herself is to keep blaming it on you. Karma might finally be kicking in.
I too feel the same about being screwed financially. But that's the world we live in. Work out what you need out of life to be happy and what can provide for you and the kids and cut your cloth accordingly. Change your life and get rid of the baggage. Change jobs if you have to. I'm selling the FMH at cost losing over thirty k just to get rid and start afresh. Twenty years of hard graft down the pan but at least when it's gone I can focus on building a future for me with my kids a very big part of it.
Keep the faith and try to start living your dream.
S
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5 years after divorce and she still goes on ??
yes blocking is the right thing, think I had my idiot blocked by 8 months, but we didn't have kids so ....
your children trust and respect you, that's the main thing, sod her.
and belated birthday greetings
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
R
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Haway,for all the wit and bravodo you emit,underneath it all your a great Dad,you have a right to feel the way that you do,she stitched you up like a kipper,and unfortunately for you,she got away with it....

Financially times are hard,and yes you worked hard and now nothing to show for it???
But you have...........
You have learnt that people you love can be dishonest to suit themselves,and only you can look out for you..
You are the fixer of your life,that responsibility starts and ends with you.

The kids know what you are,they know who you are,and they also know how many obstacles "Harradin"put in your way,your kids will one day knock on your door,and decide that is home.The big house she has stolen is merely that....A house.

You meanwhile you have a home:)
Haway,feel like crap today,but Don't let it get you down, you have years ahead of you yet,The Big Guy won't be ready for you for a long time,Christ he would have to get his supply of Valium in ;) You have time to have a wonderful life,and Harradin has yet to face her Karma ...

Luv and cwtchs
Afon Xx
A
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hi no wonder your annoyed she sounds a horror. hope you feel a bit better for getting it of your chest , sometimes you need to let fly with things you've been bottling up.it must be hard knowing that your paying for her lifestyle , a decent person would at least acknowledge that your doing your best and not give you more problems . but I did say decent person, be there for your kids but cutting this selfish psycho out your life is the best thing you can do . ;D
WP
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Good for you!
I think you have done absolutely the right thing in blocking her.
Is there any way you could apply for a job in a different area so you could reduce your rent?
((hugs.))
T
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