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Blood is Thicker than Water

R Updated
"Blood is thicker than water". Its a well known phrase. I think it means that our blood ties run very deeply between ourselves and our immediate family. Its not possible to really know that this is true until we have to face the situation of being separated from our nearest and dearest. Its very painful in the early days to have this forced upon us. That is why adults can make mistakes. Children can end up being 'used' in the constant struggle to 'care' for them or just to be with them, to fulfil our roll as a parent. How many parents will openly say quite rightly that they would die for their children. Blood does indeed run thick. That same blood can also boil years after the trauma of the breakup of a family. Without warning the anger can return and let rip. In between the times of high emotion that do revisit us without warning, we do find a more peaceful place for ourselves to be. We have no choice. What then when our children become adults? Well, of co course they are old enough to make their own choices, to go where they will and to live a more independent life. But the ties never leave us and are not diminished by age or time that passes. Our children may have children of their own. I'm sure this only serves to strengthen the ties that we have. You can let go of your ex but never your child. Despite what is often said about the roles of mothering and fathering, and because of course woman give birth to the child, I don't believe these ties are any stronger or weaker in either sexes. Proof of this was beautifully portrayed in the recent TV series "Long Lost Family". In it a father was reunited with his 28 yr old daughter. They had not been together since the girl was an infant. It was not his choice to leave his partner at the time. Although they had lived in different countries all that time, they thought about each other constantly throughout their lives and during the time that had past. The reunion was very emotional and the held each other for what seemed like a long time. He kissed her and told her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. The longing that his daughter had to receive this was there for us all to see. An enormous gap had been filled in both their lives. The man was also presented with two grandchildren and suddenly where there had been no family their was a family. Blood had been reunited with blood. Unlike water which would evaporate and run off somewhere distant, blood was drawn together to care, nurture & protect. A true and natural force of nature was revealed very movingly in the tears that flowed. This woman had obviously been brought up well by her mother but she also needed her own father. She herself was separated from the father of her children and had obviously been through rough times of her own. There was an overwhelming sense that both could now live in peace. My daughter is back from University for the Summer and I will see her tonight. Unfortunately for me her mother's current rental home was the default for her to go to when she returned from college. Mum is not working at the moment you see and well, there are dogs to look after too! In fairness my new house is not habitable at the moment either. The new place has had a lot of money spent on it! My girl has a new loft and en suite bathroom all to herself! But we will catch up, go out for dinner and reconnect. In time, I hope that there will be more times to share. More quality time. And that someday our blood ties will have grown from a family of two.

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Hi Tom, no worries my friend. The tv programme was a factual based one. Documentaries can of course be highly edited to show only what the producers want to show. Your right, we can't choose our families but I think whatever our circumstances we can't erase our deep connections whether they are good or bad. Where children are concerned we need to remember that we are the adults and try to stay the course on being consistent with this as much as possible! My daughter at almost 19 is only now coming to realise and work out the truth when it comes to understanding the actions of her own mother. I peaceful and a happy life is where we need to get to for everyone's sake. This is what we also deserve ourselves.
R
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Beauty of Wiki. Sums it up so well - maybe swimming in different lanes but hopefully in same direction. Nice one Tom!
A
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Re: "Peace". A kind response, thank you.

I've felt bad the last few weeks about my tone in that comment above. I wrote it when the mix of emotions inside me was toxic and it overflowed.

I sincerely hope you did understand that I wanted to convey that I don't feel it is a good idea to relate to screen drama as a source due to issues of authenticity.

I also hope you understand that I did not mean to attack the premise of your post it is just that I've seen the concept of 'blood being thicker than water' tested several times and often it has not stood up to it's reputation, per se.

So, yes, in different swim lanes but hopefully heading in the same direction :-)

Peace.
T
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Tom in France I think we must be in different swim lanes ;D Peace
R
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Well, I'm gonna say bollocks. The most informative part of that was the last paragraph.

So, blood thicker than water, not that I want to disassemble this but... on the one hand there's that whole 'Sacred Cows' stuff going on over in the USA but it does have a point in that we attach ourselves to what is 'acceptable', what is 'correct' and what is our perception of how life is and what it should be like. That is all a fabrication, not that I say a fabrication for want of falsification but a fabrication from good/bad intent that is the product of evolution. Blood ties are the reason for both good and bad behaviour but who is judge and jury over this concept. It's a myth IMHO perpetuated without verification, we feel we should because we think we should... bollocks.

Treat people with a relevant ethos i.e. parent, child, relation but remember that we can not choose our relations but we can choose our friends. Remember that our children need their parents. Remember that our parents will be glad to have our love and support when they are weak and frail but... blood ties - it's like a f'ing revenge movie on steroids, forget about it!

Avoid letting television and other media screw with your mind. Andy Warhol famously said that Art imitates Life and one of my dear friends said "The camera always lies". Don't be easily influenced by media, reality is your friend: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-05-25/happiness-industry-how-government-and-big-business-manipulate-your-moods-profit
T
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I didn't watch the programme. But neither do I think this was what your post was about.
I've watched my daughter struggle with her dad's "new relationship" as he nears his end of life. I'm so proud of the way she has handled it and stood up for herself to claim her time to say goodbye. Guess I did something right to teach strength of character, whilst taking other people's feelings into account.

Rock, you still have loads of "memory-making" days, promise.
I know you will cherish moment you spend with your daughter and lock them in your heart. No-one will steal those away from you.
Carly xxxx
O
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Oops..
I agree that kids need 2 parents,but that is in the ideal world,but we don't live in an ideal world,and the family unit has to be whatever it is.My little unit is full of love and yes he is missing,but only he can change that,not me...
Would I give my life for my girls or my little man?
In a heartbeat I would...

Funny thing is,I always thought he would also ..
A
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Once again Rock,a lovely piece..

Whilst I personally agree with all that you have written,that does not mean we all feel the same.I watched the same programme,and I had a tear when I saw the reunion,it was a shame that many years ago,a parent took the decision to deprive her daughter of her father,all so sad.
When my marriage broke up,my ex said he would always be there for my daughters,Hmmm Actions speak more than words,plain and simple he has not...
Whilst I try to encourage contact between him and my eldest,his attitude is "She don't want to know" okay that's fine,but just keep attempting to show her that he cares,actually one day,she may reply to him.

A
Comment
Once again Rock,a lovely piece..

Whilst I personally agree with all that you have written,that does not mean we all feel the same.I watched the same programme,and I had a tear when I saw the reunion,it was a shame that many years ago,a parent took the decision to deprive her daughter of her father,all so sad.
When my marriage broke up,my ex said he would always be there for my daughters,Hmmm Actions speak more than words,plain and simple he has not...
Whilst I try to encourage contact between him and my eldest,his attitude is "She don't want to know" okay that's fine,but just keep attempting to show her that he cares,actually one day,she may reply to him.

A
Comment
Once again Rock,a lovely piece..

Whilst I personally agree with all that you have written,that does not mean we all feel the same.I watched the same programme,and I had a tear when I saw the reunion,it was a shame that many years ago,a parent took the decision to deprive her daughter of her father,all so sad.
When my marriage broke up,my ex said he would always be there for my daughters,Hmmm Actions speak more than words,plain and simple he has not...
Whilst I try to encourage contact between him and my eldest,his attitude is "She don't want to know" okay that's fine,but just keep attempting to show her that he cares,actually one day,she may reply to him.

A