I had my daughter over from France for Easter. I was looking forward to it but as soon as she arrived she starting kicking off about how I don't see my brother and his wife anymore. I explained they sided with my wife and were nasty with me and she replied they were right. Then she kicked off big time the next day which put a big dampener on the rest of the weekend. I won't go into the ins and outs here but I left her mother 4 years ago because she made me very unhappy, depressed and suicidal. She, the ex, now lives the dream with a bloke so she's okay although she got the greater share of the divorce settlement. I've rebuilt my life since although I'm still alone and was feeling better about things. Why is my daughter dragging up the past after such a long time? Some people can't let go! Now I feel disappointed and abused. I can't deal with unreasonable people, can't find the words, so I'm frustrated. I wish I had the strength. :(
I don't know your full situation as not on here that often but.... you are the one that needs to grasp the nettle. Mitchum is right, don't leave it too long. maybe ask your daughter to help start bridge building. Life is too short and it is also part of the healing process for both of you possibly? Not easy I know.
So sorry to read how the time with your daughter went. Perhaps it had been building for months and she just let it all go at once. I'm not a psychologist, but I imagine there may be some residual jealousy of the relationship you established with your first daughter, having found her again after many years. Your wife resented that relationship, so your daughter possibly does also.
As for the relationship with your brother and him not supporting you, I can relate to that very personally as my sister did the same. It hurts and it takes time for such rifts to heal. I've almost given up many times but kept making overtures and we're back on speaking terms. although we may never be as close as we used to be. It depends whether you think it's worth pursuing for your daughter's sake. I did it for my grandson's sake as he needs the relationship with the wider family. Strangely enough we had the best day so far yesterday, so it's a work in progress.
You absolutely must find the strength. Leave it for a while and write to say you're sad the way things went but that you love her very much. Don't leave it too long and keep it short, but do make contact. It will be so much harder if you leave it too long.