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Front-line police officers dealing with domestic abuse incidents are being trained to spot the signs

I Updated
The College of Policing are getting better at dealing with co-ercive behaviour that stops short of actual violence.  

A bit too late for me as their only advice 10 years ago and 3 years ago was that I move out (and leave our children with my ex?).

Ex now building a case to attempt to show that I am/was the abuser.  All very nasty.  

I have no contact with either now-adult daughter for unknown reasons- I suspect more co-ercive behaviour by the ex but I can't prove anything.  Correction- the reason given is that weekly emails to our daughters are harassment!

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Wise words, Mitchum. Many thanks for all your support.
Ignatz, you have endured this very sad situation for a long time now and we know how hard it is for you. Yes, your ex has proved very manipulative but don't give her ammunition. I know that means not contacting the girls, but they are of an age to be making up their own minds.

That is no consolation to you at all I know, but why give your ex reason to continue to wage this war of words? So much depends on what you write in those emails which may be construed as harrassment.

Hold your head high in the knowledge that you've tried very hard to be there for them and then get on with your life. Try to immerse yourself in your work. Focus on improving the quality of your life, preserving your dignity and enhancing your self-esteem. Be available for your children if they should ever need you but don't push yourself on them. Just quietly get on with your own life.

You know we're here to support you.