I read a post a moment ago on here which struck a chord with me (elizadoolittle-thank you).. I have developed a marvellous coping stategy which involves NOT thinking about IT until I am in a place I am ready to. This isn't as foolish as it first sounds.. I checked my email inbox today and it's hit 1000 unread emails. 1000!! if I actually troll down the list I can guarantee that almost all of that 1000 are total BS! If I never open them.. never read their vacuous contents. I will be none the wiser but no worse off either. I carry this technique over to mail. Physical..through the door mail. The letters arrive and I study their exteriors for signs of menace..are they obviously chain mail? If so.. bin. If they have a bank address..or council or something then I put in the 'pending until I’ve drunk two large glasses of Rioja ' pile. That way I can open them with a smile on my face... Text messages ( I rarely if ever get any direct messages from stbx) I filter on the grounds of attractiveness.. if they are from potential dates..I will read (unless they have been particularly tiresome in which case I won't..) Family.. i obviously read immediately.. solicitor (yes.. he emails and /or texts) I read but with squinted eyes as I count the pound signs with each character... News on TV. Don't watch it. I have no more capacity for bad news. I'm full up...saturated with sadness.. Newspapers..I might glance through the Standard on the tube.. even the football pages (I hate football.. but by God.. it's vacuous and funny to see how pompous and serious everyone else seems to be about it..) I read my Ruby Wax meditation book.. I read my poetry books..I read soulful (in the truest sense of the word) writing and steel myself for the battles ahead.. So.... for me.. a bit like Wellington at Waterloo or Henry V at Agincourt.. I choose my ground and time to fight.. the est.. it's make hay whilst the sun shines and tomorrow be damned!
I used the same strategy. I may not have expressed it so eloquently, but it's what I did and still do to some extent. I coaxed myself to complete tasks by saying you only have to do...then you can stop.
Do what you must to cope and the rest can stay in life's in-tray until you feel like dealing with it. Creating your own protective web and existing within it is a wise strategy for now.
Don't hide away too long though. There's a life out there waiting for you to catch up. xx
More tools we have in our armoury the better! . Strategy I would like to use at moment is your user name - would love to be able to just get away from it all - but know that is not coping at all - we can but dream :) Better times will come x
Yes - totally understand this - can only cope with so much when feeling on edge. Good coping strategy to filter those things which you know are going to cause more stress. Problem I find is those things that you cannot anticipate or stop happening eg rows with children which know are completely normal, or something else going wrong can sometimes just topple you over.