I car crashed onto this website over five years ago looking for answers. I got some but not enough (that’s the first lesson) but have made some very special friends. You will come out of this – you’ll be different and things will change (lesson #2). So its time for me to sign off from this site – new names starting out on this clusterf8ck of an experience, reading the heart breaking blogs and giving sage wisdom is the crutch I needed but now its time to take the training wheels off. Divorce is transitional – its not a life style. So Patricks Top Bits of Advice you won’t heed but will learn eventually. How you feel now will change. We build our own prisons and we are the only people who can take them down. There are some questions that have no answers – thanks user Hath for that. Stop. Think. Before you react to what your ex does. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. Karma isn’t real. Your priority is YOU and not the kids or relatives and defo not the ex. You can’t win a fight with your ex. The last I think the last two are especially important – you might get the car, house, kids or whatever but that fight will take more out of you than you will win. Sometime in the future you’ll get a little ‘f8ck you’ from them to you. You need to learn (and you will) to play the long game. And playing the ‘keeping it normal’ for the kids isn’t workable, its like coming home with one leg and expecting no-one to notice. If you don’t look after you you can’t look after anyone else. I think that’s it. A verse from Suede’s It Starts And Ends With You And I've worn so many faces, Shot my love at fifteen paces, My inheritance is all the thoughts I can't sweep away
I just popped by to see what was going on, and I stumbled across your blog. Cheers fella! Feel free to keep in touch! I too hope that life is treating you well... and I think your words of wisdom are great.
I don't really believe in karma either, but there is a slightly different aspect to it. Those who choose to throw us into the wilderness, for whatever reason, causes them to loose a hell of a lot. That, in itself is its own karma. If they choose to loose us, the good ones, then that is a tragedy for them. But for us... inadvertently, we have the potential to reform our new lives and become winners, safe in the knowledge that we've got our integrity - and that, my friend, is priceless.
And a thank you and goodbye from me too. You were one of those wikis who really helped me in the early dark days. I felt you were particularly in tune with my rage and understood it. I like the advice you offer particularly that there is no karma. In the early days I longed for karma but now....yes I would be lying if it wouldn't please me but you could wish your life away waiting. Great exit blog Patrick and I wish you all the best
I just wanted to say thank you. Your comments and support for myself and others were invaluable to me and you did manage to make me laugh on some occasions. I did appreciate that a lot at the time, the time when things were dark and ugly. Not so anymore, I'm doing good and yours and other people's contributions to my journey helped me get to a much brighter place.
Pat, you and I joined almost exactly at the same time! I was Woodybuk then, but for some reason can't log back in! Lots to be said but prob not here. I really think you should write something publishable though, your way with words, you have lots to give. My Ex's third marriage has now crashed so Karma is out there somewhere though I had to wait six years for it. Am still on FB mate..
In the grim early days your comments were one of the few things that could made me smile, they were so non-PC but funny. And you suggested I slap the punching bag in the garage rather than punch it to protect my hands - excellent advice when I did not know how to handle the intense anger early on and that really helped. I'm glad you are ready to move on, and wish you all the best. Thanks for helping us out xx
Sorry to see you go Patrick, but glad you are on the road out of here and onwards. I remember very well your responses to my cries and wails, most of all your offers to shoot X dead (and desperately wishing you would - that has not changed, by the way!).
Good luck with your post wiki future and thanks for your support here xxx