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Living with Lucifer

G Updated

After going through 4 years of hell trying to sort out my divorce and to get my ex husband out of my life he is still trying his best to destroy me. I feel I need to write this blog to help me cope with it. I have no one to talk to my new partner is sick of it all , he does listen but I no longer want him to be burdened with it anymore has we have both suffered enough with all the things my ex has tried to do to us .

After a marriage lasting almost 20 years I decided to call it a day. I had stuck it all that time for the sake of the children but I knew that my marriage had really ended after about 10 years. I no longer loved him and I was slowly beginning to hate him. I was only 17 when I met him and he was much older and already going through a divorce from his first wife. He had 2 children a boy 13 and a girl 7. The boy lived with him and he had contact with his daughter once a week. My ex was a heavy drinker and gambler which atfirst I didn't see it only became apparent much later after we got married. I was very young and a lot of things went straight over my head at the time . I took on his son and also his daughter as he got custody of her after about a year.

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To have stuck with it for that length of time, knowing that you didn't want to be there must have been hell. Hopefully your children will, in time, come to see what you went through for their sake. When love turns sour, it can become all-consuming, affecting many aspect of daily life in a very irrational manner. For me, if I see a Monsoon shop, bag or article of clothing, it makes me feel angry. Daft? yes, but that's where she frittered away so much of our hard earned. Not like gambling, I realise. But it hurts nevertheless. Such a waste, and so selfish. Maybe I should have reigned her in, but would I have made a bit of differece? I doubt it. If someone is determined, it really isn't easy to stop them.. They go underground and get devious. Be careful not to completely exclude your new partner from your issues with your ex. He might misunderstand your feelings and frustrations. Good luck and keep writing - helped me enormously to get it out of my system. Take care