Spent the evening having a real heart to heart with my eldest ..she seems to believe that if her Dad my X2b were to hitch up with any other woman..that she would simply kill her..and if there was a baby from the relationship that she would kill it too...
So blunt and honest but so very worrying..do I have a mentally ill 11 year old?..I tried rationalising her feelings with her, tried to make her understand that she should be angry at us the parents..but no...she only wants to punish any person who will take her Dad on after me. She quite honestly believes that no person should ever fall in love with a once married man, should never venture there, should never be allowed to be happy if they do and no-one should take my, her or her sisters place.
I feel so angry at myself for not realising the hurt that she is enduring quietly manifesting into a murder plot..
I looked at a photo of my two girls this morning...at a time when no one knew we would be here today..and it broke my heart..With her words ringing in my ears "I just want it to be normal again, forever".
So I'm off for some advice tomorrow..and will not stop until I get the help she needs..