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Not looking forward to tomorrow

It's my ex husbands funeral tomorrow, not sure how I will be , I have had a roller coaster of emotions this last week, didn't feel too bad at first, but yeasterday helped my daughter in law sort out some photos so we could make a display at the wake, and I seem to have been in tears ever since .
Looking at the photos made me think of all the times we spent together, some good certainly , and now it seems so sad that he is gone, it's as bad as the divorce all over again.
There have been lots of messages on Facebook about him, anyone would think he was a candidate for saint hood and a few messages from women I know he was "friends" with saying how much he will be missed. Best not to read them I suppose.

It didn't help that yesterday was  my eldest sons birthday, I had a long and difficult birth 27 years ago , and it still has the power to make me feel a bit down on his birthday.
And in a strange way there is a sort of closure, he is gone, no longer able to hurt me by saying cruel things, ignoring me or seeing him with someone else.
The funeral will be at 11am so think of me then, we are expecting a big crowd and it will be a green burial, then back to his favourite pub ! I've packed the tissues.
Sorry about the ramble, I will try and sleep and get through tomorrow .

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Please don't leave wiki, you have experiences to share that others will also go trough at some time.
So happy for you that it all went with ease and you had the opportunity to talk before he passed.
Hope whatever else needs to happen, happens smoothly and within a decent amount of time.
Thinking of you ((((xargle)))
Carly xx
Glad all went well for you Xargle. It was always going to be emotional but now you have final closure and can take comfort from the fact that you said your goodbyes,that he is now out of pain and as you say, resting in peace.

Hoping you now find your own peace. xx
In the end it all went very well, he had a green burial in a beautiful meadow, at least 300 people there from all the areas of his life,the ceremony went well, the rain kept off, I cried but remained dignified, and we had a nice time afterwards, with people being lovely to us all.
In a way it feels like closure, we had been able to talk before he died and say what needed saying , and now I hope he is resting in peace.
Thinking of you now, and hoping everything was OK.
It's going to be a tough day for you all Xargle, hope it goes OK. Ramble as much as you need here!
You are not rambling and anyway isn't that what blogs are for, i know this may sound horrible but i kinda envy you as you have closure...this is a very difficult time for you, its a bit of a double whammy! My thoughts are with you...cry as much as you want...