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Past, present, future

I Updated
Today is 5 years since my father died at the age of 93 frozen to death in his beloved house half way up a hill in Scotland. I had planned to take my daughters up to visit for Christmas, having to some extent gotten over his effectively disinheriting my brother and me in favour of our sister after my brother decided to come out as a gay. My father blew a fuse at that and later said our sister 'was the only one who supported him' when he wanted to disinherit our brother. Stupidly I argued with my father and told him to get used to the 21st Century. A very sad episode- as my brother killed himself within the year. Meanwhile my solicitors are unable to receive emails from me so divorce proceedings have yet to start! They are talking to their IT people. Also today had a chat/ interview(?) about a voluntary job setting up a talking counsellor's admin system for a 'big' project. Not feeling confident enough to go for a 'real' job. One day I will be free of all this.

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9 comments
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Comment
Hope things work out Ig.
T
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Hi ignatz
I've job interview next week, wondering where the hell Im going to find my self esteem.
If I had a choice, would do as you are, volunteering etc, a gentle- ish return back to rich tapestry of life,
sounds good to me :)
Good luck

C
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hi ig know its hard but let the past go.thats why we cant turn our heads around like owls :). sorry about your brother but you done the right thing . where was your sister when this was happening . the guilts not yours , good luck with the volunteering x
WP
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Would you have acted any differently if you had known the outcome? Abandoned your brother on his coming out? Sucked up to your father's view that homosexuality warrants exile from your loved ones?
J
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Hey ig - you've had a lot to deal with. The important vital thing is that you are taking those tiny steps in the right direction. There will always be times when we stop to reflect upon the road we have come - like today - so catch your breath for the next bit of the climb - these small steps seem like giant leaps to me....you are doing so well. Brilliant news about the volunteering - take care.
SF
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Continued again:yours is proving to be strong and resilient.
You'll get through this and on the otherside are rays of sunshine.
Xxx

Finished now sorry to have hogged post,computer trouble.more like badworkman etc.....
E
Comment
Silly me hadn't finished.

Continued:reconnecting.

Remember:Life's rough storms prove the strength of our characters.

XXX
E
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Hi IG,sorry today is a bad one for you,Don't beat yourself up about the past you did what you thought was right at the time...I agree with you it is all incredibly sad.
Deal with it in the best way for you today and tomorrow will come.

Glad your thinking of volunteering for something,getting you out and about

E
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Ig,good news about the job.Voluntary is always good,gets you back out there,rebuilds your confidance and also helps others,so go for it.
As for the date!!!!!
These dates are hard to deal with,especially your circumstances regarding the relationship with your Dad,just try to deal with it as best you can,toast his life with a wee toddy tonight....

This is it!!!!! and we have to deal with things the best way we can,sometimes we get it right,sometimes wrong,but all we can do is keep trying.......................

Cwtchs
Afon Xx
A