I've always had the idea of perfect Sunday's in my head. Autumn walks in the chilly sunshine, roast dinner in the oven when you get back, formula 1 on the TV. What could be better than that? So today I tried, took the girls to tesco did some shopping made chocolate cupcakes, watched the racing went to the park in that chilly sunshine and came home to a roast. It was pretty perfect. But, there's something missing, the other half of our family. She was at home doing her normal Sunday of laying in bed all day then walking out the door at six o'clock. Now don't get me wrong I don't want her back anymore but something just doesn't sit right. I still feel half a person I still notice myself watching the other couples with their children with envy. I love my time with them girls but I struggle, it's hard work being a single parent, and at times I would give anything to have someone to talk to. I think sometimes my eldest can sense I'm sad we walked in the park and had a nice cuddle and it just breaks my heart a little bit more that she's having to be in the situation she is. Maybe I'm putting to much pressure on myself to make it the perfect Sunday. I snap at them sometimes for little things then instantly regret it. They are good little girls really and I'm trying my best to keep things as happy as possible for them. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing. Anyway bath time for them now let's hope the last couple of hours can be as perfect as they can be.
Once you're in separate houses you are going to be just fine, you are already doing a great job and are clearly a loving and attentive dad. All parents of young kids snap with frustation sometimes, as Mitchum says it's hard work being a single parent, let alone dealing with your own hurt and grief early on in the divorce process.
Hi Hiwthi. Among the many things I have learnt is just to try and appreciate the moment - a whole day being perfect would seem a pretty big ask - for me just having and appreciating a few good moments is progress and for all of us I am sure they will become more frequent.
Go easy on yourself. All that children want is for us to be there. So you are already a winner. The important thing is to create ve memories from now on. Yes it can be hard but one step at a time. When my daughter was young I focussed on her 100% when she was with me. It was harder when not there. If you can keep your emotions under control for them it helps them a lot too. I still exercise as much as I need to when things need processing or anger needs an outlet. As for those couples in the park? Plenty time for all that ... don't forget to give yourself a break whenever you want it or need it ...
Perfect is being the best Dad you can possibly be and you are doing that so well. All the things you do with them is cementing that precious bond the girls will always remember - that walk and cuddles in the park and back home to a lovely meal you cooked for them. are memories they'll always have.
Yes, there is someone missing, but you're not half a person because she's chosen to opt out. You're twice the person you used to be.
Don't feel bad for snapping at them sometimes. It is hard doing things alone with two little ones, but a telling off when it's needed, quickly followed by something positive like, 'Who wants to play...?' or 'Who will help me to...?'and a cuddle is the way to go.
However sad it makes you, keep on doing those forever things with them.