Note: This blog is part of an ongoing non-commercial research project - and has been posted with the full approval of the Wikivorce management team.
Once more, thank you all for your responses to my last research blog – that was quite a long time ago now, though! I’m back with some more reflections and questions for you all.
I’m also starting to contact people to ask them if they are prepared to be interviewed. Because I’m researching the first nine months of Wikviorce, I’m only approaching people who were around in 2007. There aren’t many of us, to be honest, who were there then and are still posting now. I suppose in some ways that’s a good thing, as it means people have moved on. But it’s also great that there are some people still here supporting others even though their own divorces were long ago. Of course there are also some of us (including me) for whom the divorce process seems to be going on forever… Anyway, if you were a member in 2007 and are still posting, you may well hear from me, if you haven't done so already. I'm doing the interviews by email (through PMs if people prefer), to preserve everyone's anonymity.
One of the things that I have been thinking about recently is the extent to which Wikivorcers in 2007 saw themselves as a ‘community of the wronged’. There seems to have been a general feeling that everyone in the site had been done over by their ex-spouse in one way or the other. I get the impression, looking back and going through the forum at the time, that people felt that we were mainly not to blame for our divorces, but that our ex-spouses were mad or bad people who had treated us appallingly.
I wonder how people feel about this now? I have the feeling that these days we are all a bit more prepared to admit that both sides contribute to the breakup of a relationship. Is that because there are more people around on the site now who are no longer in the early stages of separation or divorce (in 2007 the overwhelming majority hadn’t got divorced yet, and many were only just separating)? Or is it something else – the fact that the site is bigger, maybe, or perhaps the regular posters are just in different circumstances.
What do people think? Are we still mainly a ‘community of the wronged’? And if so, does it matter?