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Side effects

A Updated

Now I'm nearly sorted when it comes to moving out of the previous family home and have, to a great extent, accepted the situation, I have identified a new side effect. That of viewing women as potential sexual conquests.

This is not good. I'm not that sort of bloke (or am I?!?!?!).

I mentioned it to a female friend today and she said that it's natural for guys in my position, as in, having been dumped from a previously all engrossing relationship. She reckons it's just the male ego wanting to prove that they are not on the scrap heap, to prove that they have still got 'it'.

I can see that. Not overly happy with it though and it is obviously part of my previously mentioned shallowness approach that I am concerned about.

I doubt anything will come of it, luckily I am still too much of a fat git for any sane woman to be interested!!!! Hopefully, by the time I'm slim and almost attractive it'll have passed.

That's a bonus then, eh.......

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I'm funny, everyone tells me so.

Can I have your daughter's phone number?

(I AM joking!!!)

(Oh, and I've made a not, buy Optrex and teeth whitening toothpaste......)
I think personality counts more than looks, sense of humour gets my vote, lets face it Peter Kay the comedian is a big lad and my daughter said she definately would not kick him out of bed!

Personally I prefer bigger blokes (no offence to slim guys) and I think most women notice mens eyes and smiley faces before anything else. I think women in general are less judgemental when it comes to appearance. So go out and have fun - its like going to the swimming pool at the gym first time you think everyone is looking at your spare tyre, the second time you just won't care.
Yes, a "friend" told me about those sorts of internet sites as well. Apparently, and I would have no way of verifying this, there are sites where you post up a picture and ask if anyone fancies a shag. Simple as that. If someone answers, you meet up, do the business and move on!!!

Bloody hell, get Google up quick!!!!

Well then, Tinny. I've always been "large" (fnarr-fnarr) and have always got on really well with women (in a platonic manner) which I've put down to my charming personality and the fact that none of them would be the remotest bit interested cos I was a blimp, therefore they felt "safe". I have often wondered what differences I would see if I were slim and vaguely attractive.

I'll let you guys in on a secret. I have had, in the back of my mind, a concern that if I were to become fit and vaguely attractive I might be tempted by another woman. What a shocking statement to make!!!

It wasn't a real concern I think, more a male ego thing, I wouldn't have strayed and surprisingly I have had one or two offers.

The thing for me about the getting fit process is that it is actually unhealthy and at 3 days off being 40, either I do something about it now or never.

Also, if I'm honest, with the likelihood of becoming slightly shallow and wanting to hook up with an Anastacia look-a-like, I'll have a better chance if I don't resemble John Prescott's uglier brother.

That said, I actually totally agree with the "too good to be true" theory as well. I mean, if someone spends so much time in the gym making themselves look good then they obviously have a certain level of vanity which I won't find attractive.

But then, if I'm being shallow, I won't give a stuff.

But then again, if I spend so much time in the gym it's possible that all I will attract is vain and shallow people.

But then, if I'm being shallow, I won't give a stuff.

F*~@/&ng hell, this being single lark is really complicated!!!!!
Whats wrong with being a fat git anyway Apm! Personally the obvious good looks and physique of those men that most people find attractive turn me off completly, too good to be true probably.

I know its easy to say but give me a man with a kind heart, positive outlook on life and a big smile....and unselfish in bed , anyday. ;)
LOL - well you sound pretty straight to me!!!! I found myself flirting with the opposite sex when I found out about my husbands infidelity. Not something I had done before for 30 years. Reckon its just a reaction to feeling that you are not attractive to your partner and hoping that somebody will find you so, I guess. Well I got a smile out of it in any case. And I am so rubbish at it! Seems 'voulez vous couchez avec moi' doesn't work, so went back to the old fail safe of aiming for his head when playing tennis! Hey ho back to the drawing board.
I'm sure there are good alternatives on the internet - so a friend has told me - no really!
Well, the post was a little tounge in cheek (oooo-errr missus!!), but only a little. And I mean real small. Not that size matters, apparently. At least, that's what I've always been told. Erm..... I might of overshared a bit there.

But seriously, at the moment, I couldn't contemplate a real relationship and it wouldn't be fair on the other person if I did.

As for a gratuitous sh@g with no strings attached? Well, I never have and not sure if I ever will. Time will tell, maybe I will be "going after anything in a skirt" as a rather far too blokey male friend of mine suggested the other day. I somehow doubt it.

I have always had a bit of a Catch 22 situation going on. I couldn't sleep with a girl unless I knew her quite well but if I knew her quite well she would be a friend and I couldn't sleep with a friend for fear of ruining the relationship.

So I'm pretty bu@@ered then to be honest.

Or not, as the case may be.
Sadie / apm,
Absolutely hear what both of you were saying! Really made me laugh too.

I was having a chat with another user here the other day and concluded that a gratuitous sh*g' with a complete stranger with absolutely no strings would be really good. Don't want to even contemplate the possibility of another relationship at the moment. Damaged, hurting and just not ready. But hormones are hormones!

Good to hear that others are having similar thoughts and issues, whether they be slim and lithe or slightly cuddly!
Take care both of you ;D
Your post made me laugh, which was good as I have been weepily depressed today. Probably a bit of shallowness in your situation is no bad thing. I am always amazed, however, about how many fat male gits manage to get women to sleep with them anyway (there's ChrisM's ex's fat coacher for a start). So you might have to be more careful than you anticipate.