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The day has finally arrived .....

H Updated

That I can now say I'm divorced.  Yes,all you lovely Wikis, I have my Absolute.  Those final millimetres I spoke about in November turned in inches, but hey ho I've made it across the finishing line with my pride, sense of self worth and sense of achievement in tact.

Is this my walk in the sunshine other Wikis have talked about?  you bet it is.  My reaction to that piece of paper I found sitting on my doormat was not expected.  I cried, but it was tears of relief and the first person I spoke to after me finding out the news, said they could hear the relief in my voice.

So, was it all worth it?  I can say yes it was because my life is so much better now.  My boys are excelling in their lives, I have good health that has come about after changing my lifestyle, and happiness that I have brought about myself (and that has been added to be others).  If i had never found out about what my ex was up to then I would still be living a miserable existence, because that's what my marriage made me feel like.  I wasn't brave enough to get out and I would still be letting it drag on today no doubt.  So i would like to thank my ex for having an affair (never thought I would say that) because he had given me MY life back and I am grateful for it, like he will never know.  He's still with the OW.  I hear 'stories' about him which I now brush off, but those who really know him tell me a different side.  Is he happy, who cares!,

For those of you who are now stepping out on the path to a better life, because it will be in the end for you, remember this - you are at rock bottom now, this may not be what you want or how you saw your life panning out, but each day will get a little bit better.  Those good minutes you have for yourself will turn into hours, then days, then weeks and months. Before you know it, it will have been a year and more and you can look back and see how far you've come.  You will make it, you really will.  You are in charge of your own happiness, so rely on no one else to produce it.  I was lucky to have an amazing support network, and now it's time for me to go and have fun as a newly fledged divorcee.

I want to thank Wikivorce and Wikis for their support.  My virtual friends have been as supportive as my real ones because they know what you are going through. 

I still believe that things happen for a reason, so you all take care now

Love HKHD xxxxxx

User comments

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Pleased to hear this, enjoy your life now x
It's a long tough route to get where you are today, but yes, celebrate it.
I wish you every happiness for the future.
Great news HKHD! Wow you have come a long way from the early days. Great to hear you are doing so well.
Almost 4 years on, II too am strangely grateful for the affair (not grateful for the hurt to the kids of course), even though it hurt like hell at the time, and can now see what an unhealthy relationship it was all along, If I'd never found out, I would have soldiered on with a man who was never going to be the respectful decent man I hoped he was underneath. We are free from all of that now!