A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020
Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

The first single dad weekend

A Updated

It went well. I was sooo nervous but no need really. We did ‘stuff', snuggled on the sofa and watched CBeebies, stuck fluorescent stars on her bedroom ceiling (that was fab!! Really brilliant!!!), went shopping, did colouring in etc. etc. etc. etc. All ‘normal' stuff for a ‘normal' weekend.

Someone on this site gave me some advice a while ago. It was something like, don't try and make it ‘the best weekend ever' because you will set yourself up to fail. VERY GOOD ADVICE. Make it normal, and do normal things and then on Sunday, you too may receive a comment from your child along the lines of ‘I really enjoyed this weekend, daddy, it was just like being at home'.

Fantastic.

There were a few sticky moments. Friday was fine because it was new and an adventure and M loved it all especially sticking the stars to her ceiling (I must remember to try and find somewhere to buy more). Saturday was good as it was still settling in time. I made sure we were doing stuff but not too busy. Sunday was more a time for M to do her own thing. She did colouring in in her bedroom, reading, her homework etc. etc. This was brilliant as it meant she was relaxed. Such a relief.

From my point of view, I was OK as well for most of the time. Friday night I was sooo exhausted what with the physical move and the emotional stress that I just crashed out about 30 minutes after M went to sleep. Slept the best I have in a long time, with the exception of a very bad stiff neck in the morning.

Saturday was a completely different story. I could not sleep at all, maybe 2 hours worth, at a push. I could not get the idea of X2B with another man out of my head. It was horrible. I watched film after film after film but still the thoughts were there. This was probably because we had to go back to X2B's house because M had forgotten something vital which we needed. When there, I noticed a pair of male slippers in X2B's bedroom.

Now this is not a surprise and I have no right to be angry about it. And in fact I am not angry.

But it doesn't stop the hurt of the actual fact that it has been done. I knew it was inevitable and I have to deal with it. But it still hurts.

X2B has her life now and should get on with it, the same for me.

 

X2B walked over to us on the Sunday afternoon and we chatted for a bit. She said she had a terrible Friday nioght, could not stopp sobbing and at one point had to go into the toilets of the restaurant she was at with J (her knew man) to howl with crying. Saturday she said she cried for most of the morning but then was OK in the afternoon when she and J were out and about. I am still a bit confused about this, I had expected her to be happy (see the blog post before this one). Oh well.

 

So all in all, a good weekend. I'm relieved. I enjoyed it as well which is great. The sense of relief is indescribable.

 

User comments

6 comments
Already have an account?
Comments
Comment
@Autumn

I think most of it is guilt but as strange as it may seem, there is some genuine sadness there as well. I can sort of understand it but am confused at the same time.

In a way, and I don't really mean this, I wish the situation were not as amicable as it is because then we would hate each other and it would be easy to move on.

Believe me, I know she is ready to move on because she did so some time ago.
A
Comment
I am so pleased for you, you should pat yourself on the back for being such a top Dad! Your ex2b seems to be very emotional about it all for someone who wanted to end your relationship. If its not down to guilt then I wonder if she is really ready to move on.

Take care
A
Comment
I always read your blogs because they cover so much with a lot of sensitivity.

This is no exception well done for making it such a great 'normal weekend'. That must have been such a relief and I'm sure your daughter really enjoyed it too.

You are doing so well.
J
Comment
Thanks guys, it's been a bit of a slog and most of the effort from me over the last few days has been towards making things as "normal" as possible.

Looks like it paid off!!!

;D
A
Comment
Well done. You have made such a good job of all of this with your daughter, and you and your wife are still working as a team for her. It's very impressive.

Sadie
S
Comment
Thats great news. M sees your house as a second home and that is great. Youve obviously done a great job in reassuring her.

Fantastic. Take care.

Tinny
T