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The possible future may just have shown itself........

5 Updated
For the first time in weeks my wife/stbx said she wanted to speak me to tonight!!!!
This afternoon she went to the CAB who have advised her that given the circumstances - I'm not sure what she has told them - that she should seek the "Collaborative Route" as opposed to Mediation, which is what I would have preferred. Apparently the Collaborative Route offers her more security in that her solicitor will be present for all meetings/discussions and be able to argue her case for her better than she!!! She has stated that she will not consider Mediation.
I am trying to do the right thing for her and our adult kids but it would appear that advice from friends and others are leading her down a different path and one that has just darkened from my prespective. Why do we need to go this route if we can work it out between ourselves? Obviously the answer is that all trust has gone.
Tonights discussion (yes, no raised voices etc.!!) touched upon topics I thought we had skimmed and began to show a way forward........how things change. From both of us trying to do the best for each other she now stands at a point of "I'll take whatever I'm entitled to and if that leaves you with nothing.....so be it"
To say I'm not frightened would be a lie.......I really don't want this to linger as I honestly believe that a quick and amicable separation would be in everyones interests - hers, the kids and mine.  

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Feel for you. Very tough time indeed. I leant that everyone's case is different. But the common experience seems to be that yes, the more solicitors are kept out of it the better. The other party / your ex might think she can grab more than her fair share but usually the can't. Its 50/50 all the way down the road. I was told at one stage I could have "damages" on top but I chose not to. There is a legal thing called a "Clean Break". It might be worth bringing that up at some point. If she has a solicitor you can do the same but it can get expensive. Let her pick up the bill for hers. These costs can accrue in leu of settlement. Good luck. Try to rise above any attempts to have you slip up emotionally. My ex tried to provoke me into having reasons for her to leave. She got physically abusive and wanted me to return the favour! The whirlwind of separation can be a Hurricane of pain. Take care of yourself