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Tips for abandoned wives

A Updated

1. Think of jobs he did - the ones you thought must be difficult - and learn to do them yourselves. Even if it takes you ages, doing something new is an achievement. Congratulate yourself.

2. If he comes round and finds fault, smile serenely and ignore him. It's not his business any more.

3. Watch a TV programme he disliked or despised. Note what's good about it - enjoy it if you can.

4. Retune the radio to a new station. See if you like it.

5. But something you never bought because he didn't like it. This one's for you.

6. Cook your favourite meal, especially if he didn't like it that much.

7. Go out alone, even if it's just for a coffee or to a film, and savour the pleasure of the experience. Especially savour being alone and the opportunity to think for yourself.

8. Question his opinions. Think things through.

9. If you can afford it, take a holiday alone somewhere new. Make new enjoyable experiences as a single woman - something to remember with pleasure. If you can't afford a holiday, see if you can manage a day out - just for you.

10. On the right occasion, if he offers you help or asks if you can manage, reply, "I'm fine, thank you," and mean it. Watch the surprise in his face. You are now an independent, free woman. Relish your new status.

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How refreshing to find a soul-mate Lol! Newly separated after 22 years of marriage, and after down-sizing considerably hav also discovered a lot of unchartered territory - have learnt to cut grass at the ripe old age of 43 ( I know, even my closest friends don't know how i got out of that for so long! ), hav dealt with tripped fuses and just bought the most amazing black bedlinen that my ex would have hated, but makes me smile every night going to bed! In July i enjoyed the most amazing trip to Sorrento with a girl from work, something I've always promised myself but never managed to get around to until now!
I don't actually reflect on my marriage as a negative period - we had some really good times and produced two amazing children, now pretty grown up and who have supported both myself and my ex through a pretty difficult period. BUT, i did have my fair share of disappointments and now that I have let go of a lot of 's***' i hav rediscovered a certain 'joie de vie' and most of my frinds and family agree that I'm a much happier person as a reult. Now, for that skiing trip that i promised i would have before i hit 40 - guess i have to compromise and make it before 45 :-)
Do i feel sorry that i'm single and in my 40's? - hell no, and i really mean that. Life may be more challenging at times ( definitely need to enroll in car maintenance classes ) but also more satisfying! And guess what, i think i got chatted up on Sunday morning by a very charming, probably married, younger man! Nice, good for the self-esteem, but isn't it nice to go home, to your own home, and plan the rest of the day to suit yourself!!
Not sure if i've achieved all of of your targets, but I'm getting there.
Also applies to those of us that that had to leave.
I like it. Its 2 fingers in the air to your ex. Good for you, Chris
Think a lotof this also applies to abandoned husbands. Thanks.