Was very interested to see this in the news this week. Its an emotive subject of course and one that can often inflame extreme views that either support or question its validity in their own world: What might our own cases look like if they were "reopened"! I confess I would sometimes see similar headlines in the past and shudder at the thought of "hell hath no fury" and woman who receive multi millions as a result from their original settlements.
Reading more about one woman affected by this is this weeks news its clear her ex husband was a complete crook and outside of his marriage troubles he also ended up in jail for fraud in his business dealings. So its clear she deserved much more if the funds were there and she was for sure denied through his wrong doing.
We can't deny though that many married couples choose even in their marriages to have separate bank accounts. Should they then each get half? Well family law says they should so that it seems is that. When I was married we did not run our finances separately. Everything was shared. There was a main joint account for most things. And yes, I earned more but I never felt like anyone was a drain! At times there were periods of 'spending' though which were not my choosing nor was I consulted. I did not expect to be consulted on absolutely everything though. I wanted her to be free to make choices and would smile sometimes even at the expensive leather sofa which turned up one day as if by magic. No wonder then when one of the last things my ex said to me was .. "I can't fault you on being a provider"!
The 'landmark' case this week said that woman have the right to reopen cases so I guess we must assume than men also have the right too?! In any case its always been illegal to not disclose earnings or falsify a financial statement during a divorce settlement. I think my solicitor said something along the lines of "could be in contempt" if my case ever went to court when she referred to the need for both my ex and I to pay attention to providing full disclosure.
It was a bitter pill to swallow and I confess as the injured party so to speak I did contemplate how I might ask my solicitor to at least swing the settlement in my favour by at least a few percentage points as "compensation" for the fact that my ex almost killed me. That to me seemed perfectly reasonable. I wanted "damages". I know I might have achieved this if I dug my heels in. I also know that some people settle in ways other than 50:50.
I reasoned at the time that as my daughter would be spending 50% of her time with her mad mother that she would need a decent roof over her head and I had every confidence that my ex would truly find it! There might also be new leather sofa's turning up and plenty of other new things! I know now that this is indeed what happened and from her settlement my ex was also able to afford 2 new cars - one a shiny sports convertible! and a 4 bedroom house in London albeit rented. She got our second home too because this enabled me to buy her our of the marital home keeping stability for myself and our daughter for a while. Unlike the millions of pounds for the two woman who have been in the news this week, if my case was reopened? well.. I know I can sleep at night because all the original cupboards were completely cleaned out.
Good luck with the money stuff. Its true what they say, it doesn't buy happiness but its better to have than to have not. I also understand why we feel the need to make a point at times. The woman in this week's news surely did make theirs. I'm surprised when they were photographed by the press standing outside the court with big smiles that they didn't also give the lens a big finger. I know I would have ... !
One side or another will commonly raid the finances. For those that leave because of there is a 3rd party involved typically don't give a thought to the money aspects until the 11th hour. There minds up until that point I guess have been focussed on other thing! They will then put their dirty fingers into anything they can grab! Any assets put into your spouses name for example for tax reasons will typically vanish into thin air !!
This was going to provoke both good and bad press,and yes these women have made landmarks in the divorce system,and as you say one of the men was a fraudster,so would I want any of that tainted money...No way..
There have been many who have hidden assets,both men and women,and for that I am really sorry.I know that I could have fought Twonk and actually ruined him if I was so minded,but that vestige of self respect was there also.Whilst I agree that money does help,it certainly does not bring happiness,Twonk is testament to that,yes he earns double my wage,but does he ever smile ?Nah..There is actually only 1 chair you can sit on,one bed you sleep in,1 tv to watch.Happiness or contentment lies in the people around you,and the way you live your life,thousands in the bank will never bring that..
I would never have been in the position of these women,the finances were way above me,but having to go back into court and drag all those feelings up must have been very traumatic for them,but they believed in their principles,so Good luck to them.
Meanwhile I and many others will refrain from looking into this,I am now in the place where I choose to pick my battles,and this will not be one of them.
The quiet life and myself are getting really acquainted,and actually something I enjoy...
Just so sad that at the end of everything it all boils down to money, a sad indicator of our lives today