I'm hanging on by a thread, financially speaking that is. My business is not bringing me any real income, it has managed to pay the mortgage this month which is great, but at the expense of not paying the VAT bill. I noticed today that my back car tyre has a screw in it, I can't afford to get it mended, I just hope it still has enough air in it to do the school run tomorrow. My washing machine has been out of action since Easter and the thermister needs replacing in the boiler, which means we have no central heating. I honestly don't know when I last bought myself clothes, but my son will need some new shoes in the next few weeks and I need to find enough money to pay for the barrister I need on Wednesday next week. I've been delivering Kleeneze, Avon and Thomson Directories in any spare time I can find, but I'm swimming against the tide.
I could find light at the end of the tunnel at the time of the FDR when I could still raise a mortgage to clear debts and start from sratch, not something I relished but do-able all the same, meaning we get to stay in the property. Now with things as they are, mortgages are getting harder to come by, even commercial ones, such as mine. Properties are getting more difficult to sell.
In spite of all of this doom and gloom, I have managed to pull together a statement that reflects my position and the truth, with loads of evidence to back up what I'm stating. I have even written a 'business plan' to show the judge " how I will live and provide for the basic needs of myself and my dependents after the hearing". It was a bizarre thing to do, but has convinced me that it can be done.
In all honesty, whichever way I look at it, I start again, from scratch. That in itself is palatable, afterall I've come this far. Why does He have to make everything so flippin difficult? I'm in poverty, he's swanning around in Lanza- flippin-rote until the day before the hearing. He has not prepared, God only knows if he intends to turn up. He has refused or ignored offers and correspondence, he has stolen a company asset which has left me running a business that is now insolvent, he produces no paperwork when asked but he'll still end up with something; probably a small lump sum, to pay off all of his debts and put down a deposit on a flat, or canal boat (as is his latest fancy), or a camper van and carry on with his £25K a year job without a care in the world.
Why oh why am I being dragged through court when in effect there is nothing left of any value to divi up? So far, according to the insolvency practioner, after everything's sold, there'll only be £38K left -If I were to do the same as him - nothing, then that is what would happen. The fact that I want this over , to stay put and to refinance, somehow means I've got to go to court and fight for that.
I am so cross today to find out that he's out of the country and won't even get to look at my statement that I spent weeks preparing, nor will he have the opportunity to consider my offers which could potentially stop the Final Hearing.
My solicitor said something about putting the other party 'on notice' last week, I reminded her of it today. Apparently, his conduct could be brought into question and considered by the judge in the judgement. The conduct has to be really bad, not sure whether he's been bad enough yet?