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an e-mail...

C Updated

I can't say for sure what my intentions are. As it becomes more and more clear to me that my wife has decided that we will not be married in the future, I have resorted to the following e-mail. Part of my intention is to make her think about what we have, while part of it is to embed notes for comparison into her subconsious. Will her new partner be all of these things that she knows to be true?


Just read please. We don't need to discuss.

Pros? (just to name a few)

We like the same music.

We like the same movies.

We like the same foods.

We have identical religious views.

We have similar views on homosexuality.

We have the same views on abortion.

We have similar political views.

We love new cultures.

We love to travel.

We can talk for hours.

We don't argue.

I will never, ever, raise my hand to you.

I never insult you.

I never treat you with disrespect.

We both like biking.

We both like camping.

We both like roller coasters.

We have a perfect son together.

We both love our puppies.

I cook, clean, do handywork, yard work, car work.

I love everyone in your family. And I love being a part of it. I think they love me too.

Everyone in my family loves you.

I will move with you anywhere in the world without hesitation.

I will love you until my last day on this earth. Even if you are not with me.


I need to get a job I love, so I can appreciate how much you love yours. Maybe I should get back into gaming. From a technical or analytical side - what I really enjoy. Or teaching maybe.

We need a babysitter more often.

I don't have family money or a trust fund, but I keep buying a lottery ticket once in a while.

I know you don't want to hear it, but there are so many things that are good. So few that are bad. I just wish you would have given me the chance to try harder on the things that made you feel "disassociated from me". I would have really tried. I thought what I was doing was helping you get what you wanted.

~your husband, and proud of it~


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Wow chris, what woman wouldn't want to receive emails like yours from their partner. Very beautiful and touching. But it made me cry... Wish my ex could have been just a little bit like you - his list would have been the other way round. :)
That is a truly amasing touching mail chris
This email is amazing....it made me cry....coming out of an abusive relationship i,ve tried to understand why he never loved me and abused me every day,and i,m a sensable person so why did i let him treat me like that for 10 years...will any1 ever love me like u love ur wife...does,nt every one deserve that..u,ve restored my faith in men..
take care lizann x
Thanks Becky. Maybe I should have sent more of those types of e-mails when I "thought" things were good.

And to think I treated this one like the sun rose and set for her...the next one will get all of that, plus the thoughtfulness during good times too.

Next week will be really hard. My son is with me right now. She talks of seeing him, but I can't imagine how much time she will actually be able to make for him with her busy career and new relationship. I'm playing the "open door" role to avoid any confrontation, knowing well that she probably won't pursue it much after a while.

We'll see.

Sorry about your situation, but its always very reassuring to hear that people have moved on and are living their lives.

hi, I loved your email, if it doesn't work out for you luv then it won't be because you haven't tried.

I hate to say it but she sounds adamant that she wants to move on, it won't be easy for you next week if that is the case. Where is your young lad at the moment, with her or with you?

It awful loving someone who doesn't love you back, mine's been gone 8 months now, has treated me and our daughter really badly and yet I still love him and doubt that it will ever end.

All I can say is that after this length of time the longing for him and a lovely email like the one you sent has diminshed slightly, the pain is getting easier to handle.

I wish you all the best for next week and hope that you can turn things around with her.

Becky xxxxx
It doesn't seem to have taken much of an effect on her though. We spoke on the phone twice yesterday, and she would like to begin discussions on forclosing on our home, moving the car lease from her name to mine, whether we will be filing our taxes jointly or separately.

Her mind is made up. I married her because of her strength, will, and drive. I never expected those traits would also contribute to the end of our marriage. She has made a decision in her mind and no matter what I do, she will not question herself. Her pride reigns supreme.

She will be at our home next week, and will be staying for 10 days. Her visit is related to her work. It will be a very interesting time, to say the least. I have to say, I'm a little terrified. Then again...you never what could happen. I'll keep hope alive as long as I can.
Now this is the type of email that I would love to have received and still would.

Fight for the woman you love, but if it still does not work, you tried so hard to make it better, keep a copy in the photo box and share it with your son one day in the future.

I always hope for a happy ending when I read this type of blog, because even though we are all here at different stages of marital unhappiness, there does have to be a happy ending one day.

Take care.