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Birthday Access, Moan no actually positive, and just rant

L Updated
Hi All So I count myself lucky compared to alot of fathers, I have a Court order in place which my EX is respecting, misquoting but respecting.. Christmas, I basically had my girls ever other night from the 21st... to the 1st... and well I loved it and my home was completely destroyed in a good way. So this week is my daughters birthday, in fact today and I have sent a card and a silly present nothing special, as I have presents for her at my home for the weekend. This was going to be a moan message but really I have to look at what I have and realise that maybe I am lucky. I asked to see them today, I offered to pick them up from school, this was not possible as arrangements had already been mad.. I wanted to moan, but I have to look and just accept that this person will never ask their father to pick them up from school, will never let me know if they need anything. I realise now that the reason the children were taken away by my EX was not solely for money, I had a better relationship with my children that she had. I would say even now its still close but I am aware that I am losing them slowly but I am losing them. I have always said she has issues, I can see she is a sociopath she has no human relation feelings, the marriage proved it and her actions through the marriage proved it and her actions now enforce it. But in this I count my blessings, I am again benefiting from this. I am lucky I have my girls every weekend, I get them over night every weekend, I have them every Saturday and some weekends I have them all weekend Friday to Sunday. Since I threatened court action I got over night access and so far in the 5 Months I have had them 43 nights... I will see them today, I will get to hug and kiss them today. So I am lucky, poor, in debt, still angry at the CSA and government, and still waiting to do the financial part of the divorce but lucky...

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Lost
Do you know how amazing you are?

It's my son's 20th on Monday and all we've had is a text to me to give him £50 and a text to say Mum will. Love for Children - don't think so!

You have it so right. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Cheers to One Amazing Dad!

Carly xx
O
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Hi Lost you sound to be doing an incredible job with your girls under the most difficult of conditions.Well done to you for being so determine. You will not lose your girls because they know there dad loves them .
Stay Strong and come here to vent or have your weak moments (we all need them).
Very Best Wishes xxx
E
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Hi Lost

Nice to see a blog from you and one that is showing that you are doing ok.

I know someone close to me who has been through it with a right nutter. She sounds similar to your nutter, sorry I mean stbx. He has had many many battles over his daughter the like of which were nothing short of lunacy but he never faltered. I have seen him in some states, worried senseless at the thought of his daughter being left with what I would call a dangerous person. There is no way he would have ever let her go. He fought relentlessly to have her for 50% of the time. The sticking point was about money and nothing else. He agreed to let her have all the benefits and then persuaded her to let him have his daughter for 4 days a week. His negotiating skills were admirable, his understanding of dealing with her was a delicate, volatile and scary time for him.

This little girl is now a beautiful 12 year old and there is no doubt in any of our minds that when she can she will leave her mum to live with dad all the time. The light at the end of this tunnel is getting brighter and brighter. Never lose sight of your light and it sounds like their light is you. Don't say that you are losing them, I know it's hard but please don't say that you are losing them.

Warmest wishes to you

LG xXx
L
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Hi DFS, I wondered how you were doing!
It's good to hear you have many happy times with your girls, which is a lot more positive than your situation used to be.

If your ex has such difficulties in relationships, your time with the girls is vital to their social development and for them to be able form good relationships as they grow older.

You are very lucky compared to many Dads on wiki and you will only lose them if you allow it to happen. You're not going to do that. They're very young and you have time to forge those forever bonds. xx

M
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just re-read that, it was meant in a good way, not angry at them, angry enough to fight for them.....i'll stop, only digging myself deeper :P
J
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Anger can be a very good motivator, i'm sure your girls deserve to get angry over!
J
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Your girls are also lucky to have their dad fighting to have them and wanting to be a big part of their lives.glsd to hear some things have worked out ok.
V
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Good work. Stay angry, your ex was made in the same factory as mine.
P