One of those days when you wish you hadn't bothered getting out of bed. It's my oldest daughter's birthday and she's arranged a meal at a pub and it's going to be a real struggle to paste on a smile as I can barely afford to eat, let alone eat out. Ex no longer has a teaching job and is claiming benefits- so his CSA payment will plummet to £20 a month (from £240.) I could just about manage all the bills etc with working regularly as an agency teacher but had not anticipated this loss which is not spent frivolously but on food /bills etc. Ex Mother in law (with whom I have a very good relationship) phoned this morning to say ex had written to her, apparently he's having a lovely time, walking, gardening ,working on his allotment,( feeding OW'S family-( but obviously not making any provision for his own 12 yr old daughter.) I am desperately taking any supply work that arises- only half days so far as it is early in the term. Looked around a school this morning which had a so called part time teaching post but the expected workload is so intense I know I won't be able to handle it (have tried something similar before.) I will continue looking but at the moment I am so far beyond depressed that I feel like I want to hide in a hole. I am so stressed financially and emotionally that I feel like walking away from everything. Life sucks.
Sorry that things are tough for you and news of him living the good life is not what you need to know right now or indeed at any time. I'm with Patrick on this one, it's so easy to imagine that someone's grass is greener than our own but very often it isn't not really and when I look around and still myself and listen to people I quickly realise that few of us lead an idyllic life. Someone recently said to me, if someone's grass seems greener than yours, go water your own. And you know just tending to my "own grass" keeping it lush and weed free is full time job but I total get the message, running away from it solves nothing, just creates a new set of problems. But I understand your urge to run away, the pressures of everything in all areas of your life seem too much. Maybe individually you would deal with them better but collectively it's very difficult.
I have had a complete change of jobs and it's been a challenge adapting to it but it keeps the wolf from the door and even though I'm not totally into it, I give it my best, I water the garden and do it well. Maybe just for a while you could try something else, something less stressful than teaching, just until you can get your lawn in better shape.
Walking away isn't an option. You have to weather this. Difficult to do and easy to say. The money thing won't resolve itself - what I don't use gets put on Gumtree then Ebay. He wrote to his mother about 'his great life' I'd take that with a pinch of salt - he wasn't going to write and say its sh7t was he ?
I'm sorry to hear about your change of fortune and I hope it will just be a blip. I wonder if you really needed to hear how content your ex is with his garden leave. That's one reason I can't bear to see my ex's mother as she loved telling me how happy he was! On the work front, it sounds like you know what your limits are with teaching and that seems important as it's no good taking on something that you know will overwhelm you. Keep your focus and forget about him. I'm trying to perfect a floating technique now when reality feels too grim. I don't avoid reality and do what needs to be done (I think) but I try and float into a pleasant daydream. It's a bit like self-hypnosis and then sometimes I can return to the problem refreshed.
(((Teecher))) This has been years of struggle for you now, and I'm not surprised you're feeling exhausted and stressed but you won't walk away! You're the strong one and the rock for your youngest child.
We've speculated all along why he thinks it's OK to provide for another child and not his own. A child who used to be your daughter's best friend. Nothing about your situation is fair, but you won't give up.
Supply teaching is very stressful, but in many ways half days are easier because if the class is foul you know you've only got to get through till lunch/home time. If you get a nice school make sure they have your contact details.
As long as it's only money, it will get better. I know it can suck the life out of you (())
On the plus side, given the epidemic of sickness i can witness around my kids, both of school age, supply work is bound to pick up as more and more teachers will spend a few days embracing the delights of vomiting non stop for 3 days ;-)