My decree nisi will be issued tomorrow, but we will still be living in the same house. It's not getting any easier, he is now much more public about his new relationship, introducing her to mutual friends, romantic comments and photos on Facebook. It's a shame he doesn't love her enough to move in with her and leave me in peace. Then today he phoned me to say someone wanted to view our house, (we are showing people round ourselves as it's with an internet agent), he was out with his gf , and couldn't possibly come back. I was in town shopping, Anyway I decided I would do the viewing as the only way out is for the house to be sold. I am going to try very hard not to talk to him about anything, keep it to text and email, but hard when you are in the same room.
You are right Eliza, I am lucky to be financially secure in my wright, I have always worked and earn enough to keep myself and when we sell the house there will be enough for a smaller house. Having said that he is busy spending his savings on his new woman, new clothes, new car, etc, and still thinks he is entitled to half of my savings.
I got through yesterday ok, I I was at work all day and a friend came round to keep me company in the evening.
Now we are both sat in the same room, I am trying hard to ignore him !
Xargle I feel for you. I often long to talk to my x, to see him, to communicate. I am still falling for the mistaken belief that if I just told him this or that or showed him the error of his thinking, he would come to his senses. Not 'and come back' - that ship has sailed! - but no contact and having no idea whatsoever what is going on in his life is hard. But I know that it would be absolutely INTOLERABLE to be in the same house. I remind myself how unhappy we were in the same house before and think how much worse it would be now, and I pity those who have to do it.
(On the other hand, try having an X who is earning nothing, is in debt up to and beyond his eyes, and is spending a king's ransom he expects me to pay on living in a swanky bachelor pad in town. Not that I would want him here even if he paid rent!! But he could have the decency to kip on a friend's sofa. If he had any friends that were not bankrupt and living in his spare room!)
Xargle, reading this is so familar to me. You just need to get that house sold as quickly as possible and stat afresh. It's asolutely true that the healing doesn't start until you live apart. I had over 2 years of it with my ex and same here, he wouldn't move out either even though OW had her own rented place. Anyway, keep your eyes on the prize - it is so so woeth it in the end I promise you. Dazed x
I know from experience that you can only begin to really heal when you're no longer living in the same house and dealing with him on a daily basis. Being in the same house is only prolonging the pain.
This is the point at which you can begin to build a separate life for yourself. Grasp the opportunity and get the house sold. It's still painful when the packing up has to be done, but you will be free at last.