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Go to court or not?

M Updated
Hi. Can any one please give me some direction??
I have been split from my husband for 3 years. We still have not reached a finashal settlement. This has allowed me to save money post divorce as I work pt get tax credits & recive dvla for my son. My ex wants 50/ 50 split even though im the main carer. So he wants 30k 2 buy him out of the house he will not budge. He wants 2 see all my saving over last 3 years? He is self employed & has a cash buisness=(. I have offered 22k. Can anyone give advise; should I got to court &-ask for an uneaven split due 2 burden of child care or just pay up? As we are only arguing about 8k but that is a lot of money for me & I would still have a substantial mortgage??? Any advise pointers welcome.

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Hi Magoou3,

Scottish divorce law is different to English divorce law. You mention Solicitor - which implies his solicitor is dictating what you should receive.

You really need a solicitor of your own to fight your corner.

You could also look into mediation as a way of negotiating the split without this going to court.

Does your husband pay child maintenance? He should be paying towards his kids.

Good luck!
Hi guys,

thank you very much for taking the time to respond:)

More Info here goes;

We were together for just over 10 years married for 4 have 2 children both still in primary school and it is a scottish divorce. My ex bought a house 6m after split for 200K putting up 100K of his own money. Much nicer than the family home me and the children live in. He is a good dad and take the kids every friday night and second sat night, pays maintenance. He is a sole trader in a cash business that employs several people and it was valued by a accountant at £31,800. After 2 years of pressing and pestering on my part.The family home is worth £160,000 and has an outstanding mortgage of 47K. i work P/T and earn 11K and my income is topped up by tax credits. One of my children gets DVLA also. He left the family home with ?25K and is saying on the schedule that it was only 7K. I had 16K in a bank account. I have managed to squirrel away an additional 14K over the 3 years. I refused to get a relative to save it for me as i needed it as proof of the ability to take over the outstanding mortgage of 47K.
The solicitor have decided on paper i owe him 36K on a 50/50 split. I offered 22K he will only except 30K.
So the question is i have the money to pay him now, silly old me.
Will the judge just order a 50/50 as i have the money saved after divorce or will he/she look at the fact he took 25K out of the house and it is only my word??
On the basis of should you go to court for the sum of £8k - then the answer from most people would be NO WAY!

But, and it's a big BUT... You have given very limited details here. There are so many factors which would influence the balance from an even split. I note you mention that you are a primary carer and you receive DLA for the child and you work part time. The details could make a vast difference in what would be considered fair here. Like Michum has said, I think you should detail your full circumstances on the forum or phone the helpline for further help.
Best not to go to court I would say. Better to stay away from courts altogether. I had a 50/50 shared care order and a 50/50 financial settlement. I'm not sure how it works if one or the other becomes the main carer. I was lucky at least in having the support of my ex that our daughter should spend 50% of the time with Mum & Dad.. week on week off and in beginning v organised. In the end the children "vote with their feet" and decide what to do themselves as they grow up. This is expected but for many parents hard to accept. I think its important not to cling on during this period. Apologies I can't offer advice on other arrangements. My financial settlement was also taken care of at the same time my divorce took place. I had a solicitor to oversee matters and take care of communication / letters to my ex etc. If one person buys the other out of the home usually the house is valued at least by two agents and a valuation and buy out figure is agreed on based on that. I had to refinance in order to buy my ex out of the home. Some years later I was able to sell the house and downsize taking some profit along the way. You might need to fill in "Form Es" which legally records all income, assets as well as loans and liabilities on both sides. If you can't settle together I think mediation might be able to help or as I say use a solicitor. If you do the latter its important to choose carefully possible through a recommendation from someone you know who has divorced. Wishing you well with all of this.
Hi Magoou3,
Sorry to read you are in such a difficult situation and I have to agree with you that it seems a waste of money going to court over £8,ooo, but it's impossible for us to advise you without more information. As main carer you would normally receive a higher award and providing a home for the children is a priority, so a 50/50 split would not seem to be likely if you went to court.

Wikis will help, but you would need to place the information you have given here into a post on the Forum.

Give us some more information like how long you have been married and any time you may have lived together before you got married as that's important. We would need to know how old you both are and how many children and their ages. Next please tell us how much each of you earns and amounts going out each month, mortgage and other bills. What do you pay for child care? You say he's self employed and he would have to declare his earnings in court.

You may prefer to call the free helpline number at the top of the home page and chat to someone about your options. Not everyone reads the blogs, so there is more chance of wikis being able to help in the Forum.

Try to stay positive and get as much information as possible. Knowledge is power in these situations. Look for a message sign at the top of the page as I will send you a private message.