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Her sol has cocked up and then we fell out again

E Updated
Bad day ..

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I suppose i am in a better position than many. Not going to be in a dustbin anyway.

Bumped into her unexpectedly this morning - She was filling up and tearful without a word being said. I was polite and apologised for putting the phone down on her. I am not proud of doing that. It shows i could not handle the situation and bailed out. I need to be more considered in my arguements.

Acting as if we are still married.... well we are. And I am trying to save things though realising over recent days it is very difficult and possibly impossible now!

My daughter is my pride, joy and holds all my future aspirations. Extremely proud of her and had a nice night in watching tv with her last night.

My sol and her sol seem to be writing to each other and her sol at least is not telling the wife what the issues are.... well so she says anyway. Should i be looking to chase my extra costs from her sol due to their incompitence?

Looking forward to a chilled w/e.... hopefully!

I dont see why i should have to pay for
You're still acting as if you're married.
She won't appreciate anything you do for her.That's your opinion btw as she's just conveniently acting a bit thick on that pointso you don't get any acknowledgement.
Also she'll be following her own agenda now so all she's bothered about is getting you out the house so she nabs it like most women do and can then have the run of it free of you.
She don't give a monkeys that the house is a building site she just wants you out.
As the ex harridan once told me when i asked and where are you proposing I live to have room to have the kids to stay?
Ha Ha Scary!!

Essox, we are all with you!

Sometimes the red mist has to descend so you can see the clear blue sky when it lifts!

You will see that sky in an amazing home, from an amazing window, with a fabulous bathroom, but only when you and it is ready!

Forget the solicitor - text her instead, much cheaper!

As for your duaghter and uni - just let her know whatever is needed for her application / interviews you will always be there as the first port of call! Being there to make that happen means so much more regardless of what is on the petition as at that point her (daughter's) only option to ensure your support would be through the courts - and I know that it too big a step for an 18 year old!

Daughter needs to be number 1!


[quote]tell my sol to tell hers to poke it!

By the time that is put into solicitor speak and typed up and emailed/posted it has cost you £200!
I hate myself when the red mist decends.... I had it covered for years. I managed it and rarely let it take over but in recent weeks... twice she has got to me with unfounded accusations etc!

I am trying to not get bitter and tell my sol to tell hers to poke it!

Esox 11. I am so sorry you are having a bad day. I seem to be fresh out of pearls of wisdom right now (if they are ever anything other than sand.). But I do understand about how hard it is to hear the voice of a loved one with the words of the most hurtful person you have ever met. It confuses the brain and the emotional self and sometimes anger is just what it is... a release of that confusion. Don't be angry with yourself that you are angry.....it shows you are being honest with yourself. To bottle it up may be more detrimental.

It would seem that the time has come to start looking out for you....looking out for her is a very hard habit to break.
Good luck, take care....and for what it is worth I have become the queen of anger .....you are not alone.
Hope when your house is done it looks great and feels like a true home for you and yours when they come to visit.

You can't do right for wrong sometimes eh?

My multiple cheating stbx doesn't seem to get it either, she is now after the house after realising she can't afford to go elsewhere so its me who obviously has to leave the place I thought was a loving family home and go to my mums as she has room for me. Never mind that my mum is in the process of downsizing and this may all delay something she has needed to do for a long time, my mum can put her life on hold cos stbx must get what stbx wants. Obviously none of her male suitors want to take her in, they must have more sense than me.
Bad day ..
Back to work after 3 days off. Ignored her emails and texts and got chores done and chilled. Was sorting my head out. Questioning whether it is her or my old lifestyle i really want back? i am over her until i see her... or hear her voice!

Got an out of the blue call from my sol. Her sol has written to him saying she has cocked up the petition leaving out the statement for arrangements for children... Big omission! Our daughter is 17 and in college with Uni the target.

Her sol wants my sol to help her wangle it so they can swing it with the judge some how without having to re submit the petition. Obviously cost implications are the issue!

After the call i rang the wife and she knew nothing about it at all. So i offerred to help in that i would not insist in re petition. She was a bit confused by it all! We chatted about general stuff.... she is still not up for coming to relate counselling with me... she feels i am the one who needs help not her! Further issues raised and she questioned why i can not move into the house i am refurbishing... its a building site! I am afraid with her living in the FMH very comfy i lost it and said great, thanks and put the phone down on her....Feel bloody annoyed with myself! I let my dissapointment and upset manifest into anger and not proud of it! I let her get to me again!
Thought i was helping re the solicitor incident and then told to live in a house with just an o/s loo, no carpets, curtains, fireplace, flooring, furniture etc... Sleep on a matress on the floor etc..... while she sits pretty in the fmh.