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long hard day

X Updated
hi have had a long hard day today, up at 5am to go to a meeting in the north west for a committee i am a member off, we met there because one of our committee members has recently died from pancreatic cancer at only 47, after a short illness and we also then went to his memorial service, very emotional. What struck me was how everyone who spoke about him said what a loving husband and father he was, how he always put his family first, couldn't help thinking what would be said about my stbx. Also whist talking with a friend she was saying her husband was not good at choosing romantic presents, i asked, but does he put you first? yes she said, sounding surprised, i said my ex never did, there was always something else, work, his walking group, other women.Mind you he was good at buying me presents! He was and is also good at all the things women wish for in a husband, he will shop, cook, do housework etc, but its not enough if he doesn't respect you. Then I came home and he had left his email open on the computer, his GF is away at the moment and I read all their romantic messages to each other, about how he will love her for eternity, and they can't wait to be together again. In that case why doesn't he move in with her and give me some peace. I had promised myself not to read the messages, but i had a moment of weakness. Still the fact that my colleague is dead at only 47 has made me think i mustn't feel sorry for myself, someone else's life is always worse than yours.

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I wonder - are the second (third) wives married to the same man we were married to or a new improved (careful - carefree) model?

My daughter tells me her father is all loved up with the new woman (even after almost four years - how I love to hear that!). Does he buy her presents, get his d.ck up, share love and laughter and honesty with her - is he really a 'new man'? Why was I not maried to that man - I have never met such a cold unemotional man in all my life. What buttons do the ow (or om) press that we failed to despite loving and supporting them while they climed the greasy pole, bringing their children into their lives offering our tired bodies etc.....are they same man (woman) or a new improved model? Will they revert to type. I have also had funeral issues this week that have thrown me. I am not sure I will ever get over the damage to my lovely family but I will sure try.

SF
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You know I was thinking similar just the other day, all the time I wasted getting past all the troubles ex heaped on me. What a waste of life. But, at the time well ........... ya'll know how it is, you can't do anything else.

Now of course I could kick myself. I can see what a fool I was to waste my life. And I can never get it back.

All the reason to make the best of what's left to me I suppose.

Nige
N
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What a (insert rude name of choice) for leaving that for you to see - so childish to taunt you like that. I wouldn't have been able to resist either, but it must have hurt. Why do they need to twist that knife again and again?!
V
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sending you a hug, take care.
Hx
H
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Yes, it pulls you up sharp when you hear news like that. I was behind a vehicle today with stickers on the back which read, 'One life. Live it.' I feel guilty when I think of the time I've 'wasted' getting over this divorce, when I should have been getting on with life.

Enjoy your week off. Will you really get a patchwork quilt done in the week? It sounds very creative and relaxing - just the tonic you need. :) xx
M
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I feel for you Aberdeenmum , his new gf is too old to get pregnant and has no children of her own so I don't have that pain, I have 2 lovely sons who are grown up and a great support. More work tomorrow but my treat is off next week and going away to spend a week in a hotel learning how to make a patchwork quilt .
X
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Sometimes life is shit isn;t it? But knowing someone who died that young is horrible, very upsetting, and added to you still sharing a house with stbx - nightmare. I would have probably sneaked a peak at the computer like you and then be feeling crap as well.

Tomorrow is another day and you will get up and get on with what ever you have planned and we keep going. I keep trying to block out images of my stbx and his pregnant gf, everywhere I bloody look I see a bloody pram.....ahhhhhhhh!!!!

Everybody hurts, sometime.

Take care, give yourself a treat of some kind :-*
A