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Lost romance

S Updated
i was just watching a video of a friends, friends wedding day.  A young couple, obviously in love on their happy day.  Every detail perfect they looked so happy.  And I thought I don't think I can ever do that or feel that way again.  I'm not anti wedding, I work in the wedding industry in fact. I envy my parents celebrating there 50 th wedding annivsary, how lucky to have had that one loving partner their whole lives.  And I'm not anti relationships as I've had a partner for four years now.  However I really, really can't picture myself declaring this, the happiest day of my life, gazing lovingly into my partners eyes during the first dance in front of all my family and friends knowing how quickly it can all go so horribly wrong.  The thought terrifies me!  The thought of planning that perfect day now fills me with dread, although I loved it the first time round. Sadly I think I'm scared for life!! I wondered if I was the only one that felt that way?

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I thought my wedding day was the best day of my whole life. Certainly up there with the birth of my children.

Now all those memories, photos and other keepsakes are worthless. They can all go. My memories were taken from me and I can never look at them with any fondness again.

I too am envious of those who can do it for life, and always thought I would be one of those. Like you though, I don't think I could ever do it again.

You are far from the only person who feels this way, and I think now we have to do what makes us happy and ensure that is with people who truly understand our feelings and support us.

Having said that, who knows what the future holds? x
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