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Make hay while the sun shines

B Updated
So, after my pity party posting yesterday, I have been blessed with a good day and I thought in the interests of fairness, I should give it some airtime. About an hour after I blogged, I got a message from a friend inviting me to the cinema on Saturday with a couple of other friends. In the afternoon, I had a coffee and cigarette break with a rediscovered friend who said kind words to me and made me feel loved and respected. In the evening I cooked dinner for another friend and we laughed and told stories for a few hours. It was truly uplifting and today I feel the lightness of an 'ordinary day'. I can think straight, I'm engaging properly with my boss and we've been able to discuss plans, review work progress and I've even had a bit of a 'guilty pleasure' vent about my soon to be ex-husband's' life choices. Lightness and happiness, feels so sweet after a terrifically depressing few days. If I could bottle this feeling for the future, I would. Instead, I need to think of the things that turned my mood around: a shoulder to cry on; someone reaching out to you to let you know they are there for you; cooking food for a friend and then sharing some laughter for a few hours. I had food for the body and the soul yesterday and I am extremely grateful. I'm trying to make the most of it today by reaching out to a couple more people to set things up for social activity over the next couple of weeks. Making hay while the sun shines.

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These days are all part of the massive roller coaster ride your on at the moment.I can remember the very darkest of days(and I mean dark)and then a small glimmer of sunshine days so well,the feeling of"Please let me keep the sunshine days"....
Unfortunatly the sunshine days were not always consistant,they did only pay a visit,and I am honest the dark days were in attendance more.

Slowly but surely that has done total reversal,and any dark days I have now will be dealt with immediately,I soon bring myself out of them.The pain that divorce brings has a massive impact on the human body,and the horrible loss of self esteem was a biggie for me,to go from a strong woman to a wimpering mess was inconcievable,but I did.I blamed him for how I was feeling,this was all his fault etc..Wrong...
How I was feeling was my fault.
Yes it was his fault we were at this place,but my feelings were mine to deal with,slowly I started to look for the good in my situation,and look at positives more than negatives,and actually my thought processes and my feelings changed...

Did I ever think I would be divorced? No I never,but I am,so let's get on with it.Life is differant but more fun,I have made some fantastic friends,that would never be in my life otherwise,I have done things I would not have done,and actually I looked at the real me,and found her again,and that is something we all lose in our marriages...

So Bettykitten,a little advice,enjoy that sunshine,your not out of those clouds yet hun,but with time,friendship and some positivity on yourself..You will chase those clouds away for good :) :)

Cwtchs
Afon xx
A