Been a while since I was last on here.
Suffice to say that since the split over 4 year ago my life has changed dramatically .
The final piece in the journey through the pain and heartache of divorce finally ended last Friday at 2pm. I took possession of my own home. Marital home sold and EX now well and truly paid off in full. Divorce all done and dusted.
My home has the best views around here my bedroom and lounge both have an uniterrupted view of the hills of Saddleworth . Absolutely fabulous.
My circle of friends has greatly increased as I keep pushing boudries.
My music is taking off. And more importantly i have a great family and good group of friends.
Ok so some say whats it lke living alone. Whats it like ? Darn well good i say . Ok there are moments however I believe that part of my healing was down to alone time reflecting on my mistakes made . I say reflect and not dwell, only pain there. Yes, i was amazed at all the lies i told myself and believed. I cant do this i cant do that i cant cope without a woman by my side. All rubbish of course. I learned that by changing all my negative talk to positive talk things started to happen . I no longer went around wearing a negative T Shirt that said oh woe is me , why me .Instead I placed it with a mental T Shirt that said I am worthy . Simple, but effective . My mindset began to change as i realised all my pain and hurt and anger came from Fear . Thoughts we tell ourselves .
The lies we tell ourselves which causes suffering . Yes we grieve our losses and feel the pain . However, suffering is optional . I felt my pain accepted it . But . suffer ....no not for me . i do not want it , I will not be defined by it and it is not me. No, i choose to live . Life is good and precious and far too short to waste time on anger and hurt and pain and bad thoughts about my Ex. In fact I tend to refer to my Ex as the childrens mother.
All we have is the here and now , past has gone ;future well it has not happened yet. No point in worrying about it . I cannot tell you what will happen in the next ten minutes.Oh I have an idea , that is it is an idea . However, life does not always work out has planned . No point in worrying about what might happen or what did happen , it is not even real . its imaginerey. If it was all real then right at this moment we would have the now the past and future rolled into one. No, enjoy the now I say .
Yes , I can honestly say that since questioning my thoughts and realising the lies i believed life is a lot clearer and better somewhat calmer. Rumination over. Suffering gone; neediness gone. Stress gone.
All replaced by being able to live in peace and happiness. Life is good . I sincerly hope that peace and happiness finds its way into all the hearts and souls of those that are suffering . I understand where you are if indeed that is the case. Trust me and believe you will survive the nighmare of divorce and all its pain and become the person that you are meant to be. Just be kind to yourselves . You are stronger and more resilent than you think
Stay well and Warm Thoughts all