The dashboard appeared again as if by magic - so I thought I'd spend a whole ten minutes writing a quick post.
It's a sunny day and I think the washing on the line is dry. I'm taking a coffee break. There's a readio programme playing birdsong. When everything's uncertain, it's worth taking pleasure in little things.
Uncertainty about the future has been in the background for so long now that it's becoming a way of life (like economy measures: few treats, shopping at Primark, etc.). Being busy is also a way of life. I could spend all my time on work or housework or the children and still have no time left over. Getting divorced - even with solicitor - takes up a lot of time: all the negotiation with soon-to-be-ex and the documents to be assembled and forms to be completed. Nobody told me you needed to be good at arithmetic. I must borrow my son's calculator.
Work has to take a pretty high priority because it's how I pay the bills - but then people depend on me at work too. Perhaps when the children leave home I'll just give up everything, put some possessions in a back-pack and explore the world. I wish I'd done that when I was younger.
Fantasies of irresponsibility keep me going. I dream of freedom and spare time.
Now, where's that form I have to complete?