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Out of sight out of mind?

H Updated
I've read many comments on the forum about the no contact rule. I can see how hard it must be but I've reached the point where I think how much easier my life would be if I never had to see her again. That I never had to look at her and miss her, I never had to hear her phone message tone go off and know who was texting her, that I never had to hear her with the girls, I want to hear her cry and be upset and that's it. Horrible yes but I'm in pain why is she not? I said to her that I never want to see you again, unfortunately we have a bond and will do for the next 16 years. 16 years! A long time to be in someone's life that don't want you in theirs. So is there a way of no contact when you have 2 young children? I doubt it. I used to look at the man across the street every Sunday picking and dropping off his 2 boys, standing at the doorway to the house he used to share not allowed in. I see them talking for a few minutes and the hate is plain to see. I used to feel for them both, but for him mainly, a part dad one day a week, that's not a dad, they need him more than that I'm sure. Very sad. So it looks like she will always be there, in my life always. For the first time since this all started I can honestly say hand on heart I wish I never had to see her again.

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Thanks. You know I miss that a lot. Someone to just have a cuddle with. It's amazing what a cuddle can do for you when you are feeling down. I miss it.
Just (((hugs))).
Know this fella . You will heal . I get your pain and heartache I do . We take heart from those that have trod this well beaten pass.. In fact some a lot happier . Fortunately, I don't ever have to see my ex again .
( no not bumped her off she has moved well away ) .
Hang in there I get your feelings