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(Pilgrims Progress)

O OldskoolNewRules Updated
I haven't written much for a long time.  It used to be what I did when times got tough,  It helped me to order my thoughts.  Then it became something I wanted to do for money.  As things worked out, as I was retraining for journalism, my wife became pregnant and I realised that we couldn't afford for me to be a journalist.  So, from that point on, I pretty much put down my pen, picked up my daughter and haven't been back yet.  

As such, this will get better as time goes by.  Quick precis; wife and I separated in March, have remained living under the same roof.  2 children, 6 and 11.  House on the market since September.

It has been broadly civil.  We have remained 'together' in the loosest sense, as I refused to move out when my stbx dropped the bomb in March.  

I was made redundant in July; and only recently returned to work.  And now, now we have a buyer for our house.

I don't quite know how I feel about all of it to be honest.  I want my life to start again, but know exactly how much hard work lies ahead.  We have agreed shared custody and the new logistics of that (2.2.3?) (4.3?)  (something else?) along with settling into new reduced circumstances is overwhelming at the moment.  It will get easier.  When it gets easier. 
 
On the balance of things, having a buyer is a positive. A good thing.  I wish it didn't feel quite so much like the opposite right now.  

If you have read this; well done.  I'm not at my most cheerful and have to go in 2 minutes to collect boychild.
Next time, I promise joke.  There may even be more than one.  Happy trails

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Hello.

Sounds like you are doing a pretty good job. Things are civil w your ex, you have maintained relationships with your children, and you are writing.

I started blogging here a few years ago. I was in a worse state than you, completely blindsided by the end of my marriage, which had associated traumas, especially for someone who had absolutely no income and vast fixed costs when my ex turned off the taps. I was confused, depressed and helpless, and I found writing helped me to discover what I thought. It's been a slow process and not over yet. But I wanted to encourage you - I have no training or background in journalism yet the blog I started after the start I made her resulted in my being commissioned to write a book on making peace with divorce. All great experience. My life is definitely not all ha-ha he-he now, but I laugh a lot more than I used to, and writing a book is just one of the many things I am delighted to have tried, and which I never would have if I had remained in that relationship.

Take heart! It gets better. Or, as Joan Rivers (I think it was) said 'IT doesn't get better. YOU get better.'

It's been a month, and you promised a joke. Let's have it?
E
elizadoolittle
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Well done on writing your first blog. Being part of this supportive community will help you feel less alone and to make a kind of sense out of what is happening in your life. The realisation that we are not alone with our fear is very comforting and to read of those who have come through it, gives hope to cling to that the pain will eventually subside.

In time the person you loved all those years will eventually become someone you used to know. I know that fills you with dread right now, but over time it becomes a reality.

Most of us enter marriage with hopes, dreams and expectations and when the harsh reality hits that the person you thought you were married to had become a stranger, all those dreams are shattered. You need to be extra patient with yourself, lean on family and friends at home and wiki friends and you will find the courage and resolve to come out into the sunshine at the other end of the tunnel.
M
Mitchum