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Reallly bad day.

S Updated

I'm new to this site. Feeling really really low right this minute. Husband just brought the children home from a night out.

He left me last Tuesday after promising me a few days before he wanted to give it another go, unfortunately he didn't make the effort to tell his new 'friend'. I have met her, found them having a cosy meal for two in a romantic restaurant, I don't think they will go there again after I announced I was his wife to all and sundry!

I feel really alone. Can't stop crying. It is so hard when your told by the person you love so much that they don't love you 'in that way'. What way is that. Im frightened of being alone even though my children are around. Frightened I won't have enough money even though he will be minted. Just frightened.

 

Someone please tell me it gets better soon.

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Hello Susanj,

Hope you are still on this site - I wish I had known about it but I have just seen that it started two years after my husband left. He also took the children, both relatively young and vunerable. We had been married for just short of 19 years.
He wanted me to sell the house within a week of leaving - coldly and callously.

It is hell and I am not going to try and tell you otherwise - that would not be any help to you. Focus on yourself and your children, talking does help and I think who and when you talk to people can only be your choice - everyone has their own way. Cry when you feel like it but try and keep busy - doing things for yourself.

There are some wonderful people on this site male and female who seem to have an empathy and understanding - a big help to know you are not alone. It won't solve your problem it will be a sticking plaster but there will be healing.

Rejection is the pits, I know this only too well. I don't think there has been a day gone by over the last three years that I haven't thought of my (now ex) husband - trying to work out why he chose the life he has now in preference to the one he had - especially as he told me he still loved me a month before he left - he also said he didn't love me a few weeks later! Messed with my mind.

Keep with the site - great advice/help is here and some comfort too.

E
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susanj, it will get better, and there are lots of good people in here to support you when you are down, just dig deep for that inner stregnth. - ricky
D
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Hey susanj dont feel bad. Some of us are in the same boat you are. As Rosie says we are here to lend you a shoulder to lean on. :)
S
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I agree with Rosie to an extent, it will get better I promise you. My wife told me exactly the same, ''I dont love you in that way'' but I disagree with Rosie on just telling close friends, In my case I had done nothing wrong so why shouldn't I tell anyone!! Our house went up for sale yesterday and the neighbour asked why we where moving and I said '' Because my wife is sleeping around and has had an affair'' Yes she was not happy when she found out but why should I hide it,She had a choice '' Knickers on,Knickers off??? Simple ! We need to share things in order for the healing and coping process to start, This might not be ''your way'' but there are plently of people on here who will listen, advise and even make you smile.
You have a long road ahead of you and it will be hard, but always believe in yourself and you will come through this.
Take care and come here as often as you can
Broken1
P
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i know what you going through. iam doing exactly the same at the moment.after being married for 22 years and forgiving numerous affairs iam still the one feeling guilty for not making the marriage work. it has left me with no selfconfidence and worthless. and then i am supossed to feel sorry for him, because he has to start from scratch and has nothing left.i do tell myself that it is not my fault but i just keep slipping back into feeling guilty . really i just want to wake up and all the pain to be gone. who knows, one day??!
J
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Hi Susan

Yes it does get better, a lot better. I can say this as I am a lot further down the road in terms of separation/divorce and feeling more and more positive each day. But, as you are experiencing there is a rollercoaster of emotions to get through first and I won't lie, it is very hard. Hang in there, don't bottle it up, see your GP and get on a waiting list for counselling (helped me enourmously but you don't have to do it when your turn comes up, often a 3mth waiting list). Do you have any friends/family you could confide in? I only started coping after I fully confided in my very close friends.

Your comment about it being hard when the one you love tells you they don't love you that way anymore really struck a chord with me - I've been told that too. In my case he loved bits about me (guess which :) ), but totally rejected every other part of me - that hurt so much and made me feel so very worthless, and to be honest it still does. But time heals and I can now see that it is his issue not mine and it is up to me to make my life happy again.

There are a lot of very kind supportive people on here always willing to lend an ear, shoulder to cry on, and wise practical advise. Come and visit the chat room sometimes - great for getting cheered up!
R