Surprisingly common.

Thanks Ignatz. I don't have to do anything. My daughter accepts anything I get up to but will not accept my x;s boyfriend even 11 years on. Now my daughter has produced a grandson. Comment this time ? I don't think I will be able to love Freddie (new grandson ) as much as Poppy (grandaughter) DUH !!!

Many thanks Mitch.... Ludwig Lowenstein @ http://www.parental-alienation.info/index.html

Good luck with all that, Polar.

Assuming that the kids take sides. Mine is a long story so to shorten it ........ My x was to busy working to care for my daughter. Therefore it was up to me to ''rear her'' although I was doing a full time job and running a business employing 7 at the same time. When my x left my daughter sided with me mainly as a result of my x;s actions.
Forward a few years and while my daughter talks to my x she has no respect for her. My daughter produced my granddaughter and suddenly my x wants to be the doting grandmother. She even said to my daughter that she enjoys having my granddaughter more than she enjoyed bring her up. Now thats one way of self alienating !!!!

Ignatz this has been a very long alienatation from your daughters and now of course they are adults. To change the mindset and heartset, if there is such a word, of an adult child who has now been aliented for such a long time will be difficult, but I hope never impossible.

I fervently hope that as adults, and possibly when they themselves become parents, they will reflect on the loss of your love. They may seek you out when you least expect it. Keep the channels open.

I know that you have done a lot of research around the subject, but are you familiar with the work of Ludwig Lowenstein? Very interesting reading and perhaps a source of hope for you.

Take good care of yourself.