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The little things that hurt the most................

S Updated

Its been a difficult year.... Last Summer was bad...Having being left after 20+ years with two young children I petitioned for divorce & started to sort buying my ex out of our former home. The Mediation process was difficult and painful but finally ended with agreement.

I struggled to come to terms with my daughter having a life long health condition. I've had days/hours/weeks even  where I felt 'incontrol' of my life etc but equally I've had many times when I struggled with so many aspects of life that I didn't know where to turn.  We divorced on 12th April - a day after (what would have been!!!) our 23rd anniversay. At the end of May we went to court (mainly because he didn't have legal rep) for the judge to finalise our consent order.  The reality of it all made me cry (thankfully not infront of my ex) - Why after over half a century together did we end up as 'smith v Smith' in a court.

But..its the little things that hurt the most - my two children 'sharing' their few days away with their daddy with his 'new' partner & her 3 kids. They had a good time but I so wanted us to have our family holidays together.

My ex asking for  a share garden chairs....he's bought a brand new  4 bed house with her & her kids whilst I stayed in our FMH with our children.

 There are so many small things that hurt so much....

I have come along way though but its just the little things that still hurt. 

 

 

 

 

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4 comments
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Thanks for taking the trouble to comment....it means alot. This site has got me though so alot & I'm so glad it, and the wonderful members, are here x
S
Comment
I have never had to face that situation and i really don't know how I would cope. I have been spared that as first ex wasn't interested in our daughter and has had no contact, he emigrated. 2ns ex - the kids have chosen not to have contact with so far. They were old enough to see what was happening and were also lied to and deceived by him. He has made very little effort, a couple of emails in nearly 3 years. If that changes in the future I guess I will be that much stronger to deal with it.
we were all very hurt that ex's family welcomed the ow with open arms and went to a family wedding that the kids were not even told about (their cousin's wedding). She was the instigator of all this turmoil, I will never understand people!
J
Comment
(((((slowrunner)))))
Well done for getting through it, it's been a long journey.
It is a shame that the little things are the ones that hurt the most, but in reality, sod the garden chairs, they really are NOT worth it. Treat yourself to some new ones :D :D
Just try to keep the stabilty at our home with the kids, they will benefit in the future, especially as they have to adapt when they are with their dad and g/f.
Supercali xx
Supercali xx
M
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Babes I hear your pain. Almost quarter of a century, it is like half of a lifetime isnit it and a part of you has been ripped out. I have no magic wand or words to kiss better your broken heart but it is important to be heard. To know out there someone understands. Keep strong. You are doing just fine.

My daughter is 17 and my ex has a new gf in Bulgaria, lucklly my baby doesnt want to see her, as I would have a real problem with that, though of course she is a young adult and it is her choice. The only thing that comforts me is that I will always be her mum, nobody can take that away from me. If he remarries she'll have a stepmum but I am her mum. I am no longer a wife but it is the mum bit which is enduring and that bit really is unconditional love.
A