A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

things are getting really nasty

S Updated

Well, what an awful day. My hubby really been messin me about, telling me to claim csa, then tellin me to stop it n we'll sort it between us, so i do, then he says, im givin you nothin.

Anyway, his mum started on me today in the middle of the street, she was getting quite loud and using abusive language, my hubby asked me to get in car and leave, i stayed calm and asked to talk nicely, but no. What happened next has totally blown my mind.

My hubby, who has never laid a finger on me, and who has always been a person that is so laid back and calm,( if he got anymore laid back he would be in a coma was what i always said to him) attacked me, he literally dragged me up the street (past about 4houses) with my arms (totally full of his finger prints and all blue n bruised) and threw me on the floor at the side of my car, then started to walk off and came back over when i was up off the floor and threw me on the bonnet of my car and pinned me to it, told me to get in car and leave.

Lots of people witnessed this, but they were all his mums neighbours and family, and they said they will say i attacked him if i go police (which i wont)

Hes since said he shouldnt have done that, and that he just wanted me to leave as his mum was getting angry. Hes now saying he wants all communication through solictor and basically that is it, dunno if he means this r if it is just anger, but m feeling its now kinda best idea.

Solictor can try and get cash from him, but i know this is gonna take awhile and money is running out.

My biggest fear is that i will end up hating him, i just cant believe it, you would think we was never together, 11yrs together, and weve known each other all our lives as friends. How the hell did it come to this.

User comments

8 comments
To write a comment please register or
Comment
dunno, if i feel ok bout this, but i have foned the police, but have to say this was after finding out he has feelin for sum1 else and has been kissin her
S
Comment
Shar, report it.
This is a domestic assault. DV is taken very seriously by the police these days. Once reported, the police are obliged to investigate it throughl. If there is enough evidence they will proceed to prosecution, regardless of whether Shar decides to "press charges" or not as it is in the public interest.
L
Comment
Shar that's terrible. I have to agree with the others about the police you may need the evidence later especially if accusations go against you. i ended up being charged with criminal damage caused while defending myself and he came out the victim. photos, doctor and police are important even if you decide not to press charges.
It's best to keep away and not contact him, he's not behaving in a predictable way and you will end up even more hurt.
i'm sorry x
V
Comment
I agree with Sheila, please go to police and your GP and get those bruises documented. I was in much worse sit. and didn't realise that I should do that. In the end I did go to police ( it was VERY serious) but not action could be taken as I didn't get things reported/documented. You never know what will happen next and you need to keep yourself safe.
pinkfish
P
Comment
shar
Go speak to the police, and let them know what is happening. It's worth doing whether there are witnesses or not who will back you up. They will take you seriously. Don't let him away with it. It's not your fault he attacked you. You need to take care of yourself.

Don't let him mess you about. Get your own advice, CAB may be good start or see your own sol. Advice is always worth having and you can decide to act on it or not. I know divorce is not what you want, but unfortunately it is happening and you need people that are on your side in your corner with you. If you do that, you will begin to feel less vulnerable. At the moment your life is being run by him changing his mind from one moment to the next. It's time for you to run your life.

You take care
Shelia
S
Comment
Oh my goodness shar10 cant believe that. Hope you have photo's of bruises - go see your gp for your records and I would report to the police get crime number may need it later.
Hope your ok.
P
Comment
Shar, Louise is right - please stay away from him for now. My MIL did the same but by phone so atleast I could put the phone down on her (and thankfully not heard from her since) then she lied to ex but who cares - they deserve one another. I know you will not go to police but do consider taking photos of bruises as you may wish to use them later. take care
C
Comment
Shar, what a rotten day for you! You gotta stay out his way! Try not to contact him at all at the moment, leave things a while, i know its hard but you are so hurting yourself! im gonna send you email cus its a bit more private. :-*
L