Well, I think I am at the worst place for me. I never thought I would have to say NO and leave it at NO. 5 years ago this almost happened as well, I got chatted back in and now things are even worse. Money, I swear is a terrible thing. One should never earn it and the other enjoy to spend it. Not me working from a cheap hotel in N-England and she lives in the rented mansion in London. When you get to the spot when you say "well not this year again, now I am going to tell the guy NO, and we are going to leave" and then, I swear it is not fair you start getting the messages of she will kill herself if you do. And now what? Is it just well...I am sorry, that is how life can turn out, you have to start looking after yourself or start living with me in a house...not a rented mansion. So what if something happens, will that then be my fault?
It's a little cryptic, but reading between the lines of your blog, something has clearly gone very wrong with your life.
Have I understood correctly? You are working away from home in the north of England and your wife is living in an expensive home in London. You are unhappy and feeling and that you're working very hard just to supply her with an expensive lifestyle. You want to leave that job and just live in an ordinary house. However, when you say you don't want to carry on doing this, she threatens to kill herself?
Has she ever mentioned/attempted suicide before? Does she often use it as a threat? No, you won't be to blame btw. She is responsible for her actions, no one else. She is trying to control you. Don't stay in a bad relationship out of fear.
This is clearly making you very unhappy and if she's not prepared to listen and compromise for your sake, then it really does look as though you have to decide which is more important- your happiness and peace of mind or her lifestyle. Given that you're not there to enjoy it with her, are you usually happy when you are together? Could you make a go of it if you could persuade her to downsize?
You are paying an enormous price and it seems something has to give. Hang in there and others will be along to leave you messages and ideas.