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What next, can it get any worse

T Updated

3am so I must be taking a kicking again, no sleep tonight. 

Two years on from last blog and life just gets harder and harder, culminating in the last couple of weeks of being abused via messaging service by my once loving daughter. Tonight's message stating she intends to change her name to that of her stepfather and mother. Young teens are both my daughter and son. Had no contact with my so a for a few weeks. I've rung him and messaged repeatedly. Daughter only messages to abuse me these days.

i message her to show I'm thinking of her, I love her. They are statements as questions rarely get a response and if they do it's usually to say stop messaging me or worse. My counsellor advised to keep showing my love that way and they can never turn around and say I didn't make the effort or take the time.

i keep trying but it's seemingly no use. Everyone who knows me says I'm a good dad or a great dad apart from my children. I always been there for them until the point where my daughter doesn't want me there. Even then I go to see her school stuff and sit discreetly somewhere. 

I guess it's the lot of a parent to love his kids even when they no longer seem to want it. 

Family tell me she will change but the hurt I feel is overwhelming and the abuse I get with no intervention from my ex to stop it or punish her? I shouldn't be surprised this being the woman who says she doesn't have time to message me once a day to let me know how our children are or even once a week. My son is mentally broken. Gone from star pupil to barely attends through anxiety and depression  I can't tell my mum any of it as it would break her heart as it does mine. The only saving grace would be she wouldn't remember for long as her Alzheimer's worsens. 

Im so lost, don't know what to do. Message my counsellor in a few hours is probably next to see if she can shine some perspective on things. 

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