Open marriage

The Relate appointment went reasonably well. We both had good chance to talk. We got the psychosexual counsellor ( not the "save your marriage" one). She was fascinated by my husbands behaviour and lack of concern for his health or any other consequences. She wagged her finger at him a few times despite supposedly being non judgmental. She played devils advocate by asking why we could not continue as we were.... I had to point out I''d become deeply unhappy with the feelings of rejection. I''ve been living the last 18 months or so as if in limbo sure something is going on but not knowing how to deal with it. I''ve felt unable to talk to friends about my uneasiness but am in a similar situation still as my husband doesn''t want anyone to know.

We''ve been given a regular "save your marriage" slot.

I have been concerned with my husbands lack of remorse. He says he loves me and wants to stop his behaviour anyway. He described his activities as being a journey, a hobby.

I wonder if I had flipped and told friends and family about what had been going on whether he would be so keen to work on our marriage.

Thanks for listening/ reading..

Well done. Keep talking, its the only way anything can ever be sorted.
I think I put the nail in my coffin by telling my stbx that his behaviour was perverted and not normal for any married man. I was very upset and wanted to hurt him the same way he had hurt me.
I have never told anyone what he has been doing and I think he knows I would be very embarrassed otherwise I would already have told people.
He too feels no remorse and makes me feel that I am over reacting. But he would never talk about anything, so we could never have resolved anything.
Keep going, your doing so well. Look after yourself and your children. You and they must come first in all this mayhem.