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Been asked to leave

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3 years 2 months ago #495660 by Footy1234
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Wife and i are getting divorced. Its amicable.

I have been asked to leave tge family home till it us sold. She has said i can stay there with daughter every second weekend and visit and put her to bed theough the week.

The plan is to sell and get separate homes. I will then get every second weekend and be able to visit, have tea and put daughter to bed whenever I want.

Do yoy think this is acceptable?

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3 years 2 months ago #495663 by spinit
Replied by spinit on topic Re:Been asked to leave
Never leave until everything is resolved financially. What people say now will go out the window at the first time of stress. In six months or a years time when maybe both you and your ex-wife have new partners is she going to want you in the house every night during the week and for her to move out of her house every other weekend? If I was her I would rightly think that was very invasive of my privacy.

If the plan is to sell the house and buy separate homes that sounds good, just explain that you want to wait until this house is sold and if you want a quick sale then you need to set the price appropriately.

Once you move out there will be no incentive for her to sell the house and any number of reasons why she can't sell the house will come up and this will go on for years and there will be nothing you or the courts will be able to do about it.

So in answer I would say it does not sound acceptable at all. You should seek legal advice, many lawyers offer a free half an hour to go over the situation generally. If you post on here with your details such as incomes, pensions, house value, mortgage and so on in a new post various people will be able to give their opinions on what would be a likely financial outcome but please don't make any move until you have sought advice as it will have major long term implications for your situation.

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3 years 2 months ago #495665 by Footy1234
Replied by Footy1234 on topic Re:Been asked to leave
Thanks for the reply.
The house is on the market and we have the divorce papers sent. We have agreed how the house will be spilit. I want to leep everything amicable. Not taking my belongs, just sleeping at parents.

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3 years 2 months ago #495667 by spinit
Replied by spinit on topic Re:Been asked to leave
Fair enough but I think you are giving her an in to say that you have other housing options. A lot of ex-husbands end up living back with their parents or in small rental flats whilst also paying the mortgage on their home.

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3 years 2 months ago #495668 by Footy1234
Replied by Footy1234 on topic Re:Been asked to leave
She wanted the divorce it's killing me.

She is only after a deposit for a house not my pension or anything else. I think i am very lucky in this respect.

I need to keep it amicable for my daughter.

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3 years 2 months ago #495670 by spinit
Replied by spinit on topic Re:Been asked to leave
The best way to keep access to your daughter is for you to secure your own property that you can realistically house your daughter 50% of the time.

When you say she is only after a deposit and nothing else clearly you know this person and I don't so maybe you are correct. But maybe you are not and maybe she has been advised correctly that she needs to get you out of the house to really take control of the divorce proceedings and then come after your pension.

The best way to ensure a fair outcome for contact with your daughter is in my opinion through making sure you have a good outcome financially so maybe in the short term over the next few months it get's a bit rough but if you start doing everything she tell's you to do now such as move out to your parents this may well set the tone.

As I said you know the person I don't so maybe she is being totally straight with you but clearly now you have decided to divorce this is not the same person you have been dealing with for X years and rightly is now someone who is looking after their own interests.

If you do agree to stay at your parents don't formalise it, just tell her you will stay at your parents a couple of nights a week because you don't want to burden your parents and they have their own schedule which changes from week to week and also don't specifically say I'm staying at my parents as in say your staying at a friends, basically you don't want to give the impression to anyone at any time that your parents would be happy to allow you to stay full time with them, it always needs to be casual and changable. If everything heats up and you have a formal schedule the next question to you will be well can you just go and stay with them permanently, and then you are out.

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3 years 2 months ago #495672 by Footy1234
Replied by Footy1234 on topic Re:Been asked to leave
Thanks for your advice. Its very daunting all ghis. We are not bitter in anyway, just drifted apart.

Her dad went to the consultation on my behalf as we couldn't both go due to conflict of interest. He is a good man and we all want the best for of child.

She says i can stay in the house on my weekend with daughter. I don't think/hope it will be a case of she will stay in the house.

We have put house up and agreed on selling price.

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