Advice and opinions needed and appreciated.

Hi, firstly I should apologise as to what I forsee will be a lengthy post but I would be grateful for any advice / comments received.

December 2005, my stbx assaulted me (violent strangulation attempt where I fell unconscious) He was subsequently charged with ABH and served 150 hours of community service. As bail terms dropped the day of his sentancing, I fled the property and moved into my parents.
My solicitor reasured me that my divorce would be swift due to the circumstances but unfortunately, due to his lack of negotiation, and understandably my reluctance to mediate in person we have corresponded through solicitors throughout. We are now 2 1/2 yrs down the line and going to court.

No children within the marriage and we was married for 3 years.
I'm 32, he is 46. I've worked all my life and been working for the NHS for 11 years with contributions made to an NHS pension. He has worked a total of 10 years of his life but made no pension considerations whatsoever. My CETV for stbx was valued at about £1,800.

He applied for 2 loans, one in 2004 for 3k the other in 2005 for another 3k. These should of expired by now.
I got a loan after leaving the premises to pay off credit card debts and the outstanding utility bills that had accrued whilst living at the property to the amount of 4k. I then had to increase this loan to 7.5k basically to finance my solicitor fees, rent payments etc. The amount currently outstanding is 4.5k.

On leaving the property I took my vehicle, my dogs and my personal belongings. He retained all assets, including those related to the loans, them being, a caravan, his 4x4, a motorcycle and other items that were used in the house e.g. bathroom suite, pond equipment, kennels etc.

When I went to live with my parents, my lifestyle had rapidly deteriorated. The dogs and myself had to live together in my bedroom, my journey to work increased,and my vehicle was subject to vandalism countless times due to me having to park it in a side street. I was subject to ongoing harrassment from stbx, letters, texts, emails and suspect the vandalism was also related but obviously unable to proove. I have retained evidence of all the other incidences though.

Meanwhile, stbx has met another woman, moved her into the property and subsequently had a child who is now 1 years old. She works and I suspect contributes to the household income. I wasn't asked or notified about this by stbx, meerly I was informed by a second party.

I myself have met someone and I moved in with them in April this year. I do not contribute to the household bills but I do buy our food shopping alternate weeks. I would like to contribute more but basically he is able to live a certain style of lifestyle that I currently couldn't fund half of, expecially when I have a monthly fuel bill of £200 per month (I travel 50 miles a day to work now) and my ongoing solicitors / court fees and loan which I'm trying to pay obviously prevent me from doing so. I also reduced my 37.5 hour working week to 30 hours on the advice of friends and family.
My annual income I take home is £12,924, Stbx was £18,700, excluding overtime, I'm unsure what it is now though.

Property: There has been much debate about the value of the property. Stbx wrote some figures down, claiming they were valuations' of £105k. As such I instructed my solicitors to obtain a valuation, documented for it's suitability to be presented at court which came back with a figure of 125k.
Stbx refused to pay 38k equity value as divorce settlement, insisting that 30k is equity value. Stbx was offered 38k from myself to buy him out, he responded with request for 43k to cover his loans, my pension CETV and the mortgage payments he's made to date. Ironically this figure minus the monies outstanding on the mortgage would leave me with an equity of 30k when I went to sell the property. As such I initiated court proceedings as I knew we were getting nowhere.

With regards to financial distributions of assets, I have consistently requested half the equity of the property alone, leaving him with the house and all the assets. His loans are now expired (or should be) my own are still ongoing.


Questions:
1.Valuation is now over a year old, my solicitor has stated a new one will need to be obtained but they didn't state whether I, stbx or the court will instigate this?

2.Realistically, am I now elligiable to half the equity? The reason I ask is that I haven't made mortgage contributions (although I am liable with my name being on the mortgage) My solicitor instructed me not to make any payments due to me having to having to pay rent at my parents. I have regularly contacted the mortgage company to check payments have been made.

3.Will the assault play any role in the courts decision along with my change in living conditions? they are asking me about it in my paperwork so I'm wondering if it is of any great relevance?

4.With the current housing market, it is probable that the new valuation will be lower. If this is the case yet I am still willing to buy him out at 38k will the court accept my offer with it being the greatest?

5.If this is so, will I have difficulties in removing him and his new partner from the property with there being a child involved? Does this partner and her child have any bearing on me and the courts decision and should I be requesting rent from this individual for the 2 years she's been residing there?

6.Finally and probably my greatest concern, my new partner. Will his finances some into play? My solicitor states that as I have not requested any maintenance this should not be an issue but I have concerns about the paperwork asking me about this.

Many, many thanks to those who have took time out to read this, it is greatly appreciated.

Hi, and welcome to Wiki.
in answer to your first ? the court will instruct you both to agree a valuation or agree and independant valuer, if no agreement is reached then the court will arrange for a valuer.
2. yes you are still eligiable for half the equity.
3. yes on your E form 4.4 it asks about behaviour i would put the assault.
4. just because you offer it is up to x to accept, if no agreement reached then the court could order the property sold or one to buy out the other.
5. yes you might have problems but if you are buying him out he wont get the money until he hands over the keys, you can arrange this with your solicitor.
6. yes if you are living with him his income is taken into account as well as your x's prtners income.
hope this answers your queries if you have more than pm me or write a new post.
kind regards
dawn

1.Valuation is now over a year old, my solicitor has stated a new one will need to be obtained but they didn't state whether I, stbx or the court will instigate this?

Depends on what STBX will accept. Often, if it is contentious, judge asks for 3 independant valutaions and takes middle one

2.Realistically, am I now elligiable to half the equity? The reason I ask is that I haven't made mortgage contributions (although I am liable with my name being on the mortgage) My solicitor instructed me not to make any payments due to me having to having to pay rent at my parents. I have regularly contacted the mortgage company to check payments have been made.

Did ex own the house before you married? Did you cohabit before the marriage? Did you contibute to the deposit on the house? Were you married three years including the 2.5 year separation?

Three years is not a long marriage. More of a short marriage. Typically in a short marriage, the parties take out what they put in financially, splitting any profit or loss on the value of the assets during the period of the marriage equally. In longer marriages, the asset split starts at 50:50 and is adjusted to reflect the provisions of the Matrimonial Causes act Section 25. It is about defining the needs of the parties, and the ability of the parties to contribute financially.

3.Will the assault play any role in the courts decision along with my change in living conditions? they are asking me about it in my paperwork so I'm wondering if it is of any great relevance?

Don't honestly know. Conduct can be taken into account in extreme cases. I am not a lawyer, so can't advise

4.With the current housing market, it is probable that the new valuation will be lower. If this is the case yet I am still willing to buy him out at 38k will the court accept my offer with it being the greatest?

How long is a piece of string? Going to court will probably cost around £20,000 each, so after paying court and solicitors costs of up to £40,000, how much is left in the pot? Different judge, different day, different result. Impossible to say.

5.If this is so, will I have difficulties in removing him and his new partner from the property with there being a child involved? Does this partner and her child have any bearing on me and the courts decision and should I be requesting rent from this individual for the 2 years she's been residing there?

I think if you haven't contributed to the mortgage for 2.5 years, you are batting on a sticky wicket to suggest she pays rent.
As to the child, the housing needs of the child and parent with care are paramount in the courts eyes, so if they have nowhere else to go, the court may well order that they stay in the house. In certain circumstances, your equity might be tied up in the property until the child reaches hte age of majority.

Finally and probably my greatest concern, my new partner. Will his finances some into play? My solicitor states that as I have not requested any maintenance this should not be an issue but I have concerns about the paperwork asking me about this.

It is a needs question. You want him to leave the marital home and sell his share to you. He has a dependant child and a partner to support. You are co-habiting in a new relationship with a new partner. Your housing needs are met. Why should he have to move out of the marital home? If he cannot afford to house himself adequately if the house were sold, then it is unlikely the court would order the immediate sale. You and your new partner are undoubtedly sharing resources. The court would want to know about your need and if visibility of your new partners finances are required to determine your need, then that is what will be requested. I assume his new partner doesn't work, with such a young child?

I think to summarise, court is going to decimate the division of your assets. Far better to compromise heavily and take what is offered than go to court and risk losing most of it in costs.

Not what you wanted to hear, but forewarned is forearmed.

Mike

Thanks for the responses.
To clarify, I cohabited with partner in rented property for 6 years, then we got our own property and cohabited for a further 2 years before we got married for a further 3 years. Altogether we've been married for 7 1/2 years now but only 3 where we was together.

Ex did not own house before we we're married, it was only when he had been working for 2 years that we was able to buy a house together, purchased jointly and supported financially jointly. He paid the mortgage £350 per month, I paid all the utility bills, paid for car insurance bought the weekly shopping and worked overtime to buy items for redecorating the house. I have all the neccesary records relating to this.

As to the child, the housing needs of the child and parent with care are paramount in the courts eyes, so if they have nowhere else to go, the court may well order that they stay in the house. In certain circumstances, your equity might be tied up in the property until the child reaches the age of majority

Yowzer! Which leads me to another question. Would it be wiser to scrap divorce proceedings altogether, wait till my ex passes away and then inherit the house and it's assets?

For the record,his partner has returned to work.Ironically at the same workplace as myself.

The fact is, the ex couldn't of afforded the house on his own the same why I couldn't. I'm in a position where I can buy him out based on the last valuation and as such have placed an offer which he chose to rebutt. He's only offering the 30k because that is all the bank will loan him based on his income alone and he's reluctant to let his new partner have a stake in the property.
If both new partners incomes are taken into consideration then surely this needs to be considered also with regards to him buying me out?

I can't get my head around your adding up, cohabited 8 years, married 7.5 years, but only 3 of married years together?

Whatever. The point is that it is more like a long marriage than a short. So asset division starts at 50:50.

All marital assets go into the pot. House, 4x4, car, bike, (anything over £500) etc etc. It matters not a jot who bought them, or how they were paid for, or by whose blood, sweat and tears. They are marital. The value of them is their realisable value if you were to sell them today. Not what they cost.

Add it all up. Deduct the outstanding mortgage. Divide by 2. That is the starting point.

He could argue his new child creates an inbalance in the asset split, so may ask for a greater share of assets. You could argue his new partners income offsets that.

But if he can't raise the funds to buy you out, what then? You made him an offer that he has refused. Stalemate.

I think you need to either compromise on what you will accept from him, or compromise on what you are offering him. Either way, the difference is going to be a lot less than taking this to a full Financal Hearing, where a huge chunk of it will be eaten up in costs. What has you solicitor got to say on the matter? Not egging you into a fight to the death in court? Cos only he wins in that scenario - Big fat fees...
Mike

Sorry if your confused about the marriage period, it would of made more sense if I had stated at the begining that we were married for 3 years before we seperated and are still awaiting the finalisation of our divorce. But yes it was a short period of marriage.

I think you need to either compromise on what you will accept from him, or compromise on what you are offering him. Either way, the difference is going to be a lot less than taking this to a full Financal Hearing, where a huge chunk of it will be eaten up in costs. What has you solicitor got to say on the matter? Not egging you into a fight to the death in court? Cos only he wins in that scenario - Big fat fees...

The solicitor has been decent about all of this, they did point out that the discrepancy is small however, if I have a choice of spending 8k in court or letting my abuser benefit by 8k , I would sooner spend my money on legal fees. Whilst cutting one's nose off to spite one's face may come to mind, I'm sure many can appreciate my decision.

Your quite correct in suggesting compromise is needed but as I was willing to purchase the property based on the documented valuation that my solicitors obtained, which is of a greater value than the X's 'estimates' I feel I have already compromised. I feel offering a greater amount than recommended is going beyond compromising but I probably would give it some consideration.

Thanks

I was trying to take a very dispassionate view on the bald financial facts, as a complete outsider, as I have no involvement it the matter at all. Please don't misread that as a lack of sensitivity on my part to the physical attacks and abuse that you sustained from your soon to be ex husband. As to my own personal viewpoint, any violence or abuse in a marriage is utterly abhorrent.

I'm encouraged to hear that your solicitor is not taking the adversarial approach, as all too often that can be the case.

I can fully understand your position as regards how best to utilise the 8K. I was just trying to put it into the context of a realistic outcome, and for some, that 8k is worth the closure and moving on.

I am just minded that this could get silly if it got to court and your stbx could play a canny game with you, and if he were to win, how would that leave you feeling?

Best of luck with it all

Mike