My cohabiting stbx is threatening court if I don''t repsond to her sol''s letter sent in Feb re: seperation after 12 yrs, 2 fab little ones, joint tenant house for 8 yrs, even though she knows the costs of court will whittle away alomost all of any equity we have in the house as she is so desperate to get rid of the man she repeatedly cheated on.
If it goes to court as she persues either to pay me off or sell and split I simply can''t afford a sol so self repping would seem the only way fwd if we cant sort things btwn ourselves.
I really dont want to go down the court route but how do I buy time to get my head around stuff that she long ago plotted and schemed? and if court can''t be avoided what can I expect from self repping and costs to me?
My divorce cost me £2k, Consent Order £800. I got a partial release of equity the rest when the youngest is 18..10 years away. She''s gets the house, has the girls and has new shiny bf..she has some holiday photos with me in them..thats about it.
I rent a two bedroom sh8t hole and have two other jobs to pay off debts, I see the girls every other weekend. Thats my reality.
It all feels like she''s going to go through with court but not sure if she is just playing a game with me with others helping her pull the strings to push things fwd but if she''s not bluffing what can i expect from court?
If proceedings are started does that incur costs to me?
Or do i only incur costs if it makes it to court?
If proceedings are started can this be stopped if we are able to agree on things prior to the any date?
If proceddings are started any ideas how long before a court date would come around? or is that like asking how long is a piece of string?
The End is Nigh, I can answer some of your questions because I am going through the court process myself. I initiated it after mediation failed and no progress was made in 12 months. In the end things have to be sorted and if it takes a judge to do it then so be it. I don''t think court is to be feared and it needn''t be ruinously expensive. Court costs are small. It''s the solicitors and the two warring parties that make it expensive. You have the option of representing yourself which is free and makes sense if there aren''t many assets and you are confident. You can''t control the other side though.
In proceedings for Ancillary Relief you each pay your own costs unless you do something outrageous that causes a lot of expense for the other side. One of you has to pay the initial court application cost which is £240 or thereabouts.
You may have to pay for any professional valuations that are needed also.
The first appointment will be 12-16 weeks after you apply. After that the length of time depends on how many issues you have along the way. I think 12 months or so to final hearing is not uncommon from what I''ve read.
Along the way you will each be expected to make offers to each other to settle and you can reach an agreement at any time which stops the process and you draw up a Consent Order. Most cases don''t get to a final hearing because agreement is reached at some point.
If ex is threatening to take you to court you can''t stop her so let her do it, fight your corner in court and take heart that it will, ultimately, get things sorted finally. Don''t be overly worried as you know what is fair and so will a court. That''s the philosophy I''m hanging on to!