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Well - I don't know whether what I've done is appropriate, but I have needed to take further action.
The question I have, that people on here may not be able to comment on.....
I was expecting him to divorce me under unrecon differences, but now he's with someone, I'm waiting for him to sleep with her and then I can divorce him on adultery.
I said to him that I wasn't prepared to pay for MY court costs as I don't want to get divorced. This was his doing and I shouldn't be out of pocket from it. He signed this within the make-shift contract I put together. Would this stand up in court? Am assuming now that if I can divorce on adultery I won't have to pay anything, but if it's still UD..... then with this contract, I still won't have to pay?!!!
He wasn't happy, and we discussed the fact that he wasn't signing under duress and he agreed to it.
I understand if no one can comment - would appreciate anything, anyone can advise Or tell me what I'm doing right / wrong.
I'm finding this all so difficult and really hard.
I do feel in a bit of a mess, but I know that if I don't organise myself I will feel completely out of control. Plus it seems that he's left the responsibility of the house directly with me. We have both moved out of the martial home - me at mum's, him at friends, but it's been a nightmare giving getting him to come in and collect his post, let alone anything else.
I guess I know that the document won't stand up in court. He will not know this though and if I can do this all myself and we agree everything before it's complete - the better.
Fortunately he knows that, even though I want this over and done with and want him to pay fees, I will be extremely reasonable over ensuring we get what we should. I have put far more effort into the house, although we contributed jointly (I'm unsure he knows what a screwdriver, hammer, etc is), but I'm ok to split 50/50. Thank goodness it's just us and no children.
How do I get him to pay? I don’t want to sound like a cow or a like I want to scr*w him. I just don’t see why I should pay. You’re right, I don’t want a divorce, but I also don’t want to be married to such a selfish pig. He clearly knew his decision weeks ago and has been stringing me along, and now thinks I’m being unreasonable. It’s just laughable!
Sounds like it can be relatively cheap as long as I’m organised and we get things settled. We don’t have any other assets than the house and we have very separate lives in terms of money – only a joint account for bills, etc. Everything was very much on his terms and straight down the middle! Some of the info on the web scared me a bit. Some websites advise divorces can cost anywhere from £13K - £25k – ouch!
I don’t know whether I will need a mediator and/or solicitor re him paying my costs!
Months and months – really! No way to make it any quicker?
One of the things I have done is start the process of changing my name back to my Maiden Name by Deed Poll. Want to get him out of my life ASAP. There is no way back now. He’s a completely different man – complete stranger from the one I married. I wouldn’t take him back for anything now. That’s not just from anger, but wanting my own self respect back….something my mother in law drilled into me last night.
I have an appt with my mum’s solicitors tomorrow re changing my will. I will ask re a consultation with one of their solicitors also. Is it worth it – even at this stage or should I wait? Thanks for the advice – will def get a woman!!! We can be evil!