Elp !! URGENT Answer needed !!!

Hi all. My wifes solicitor has told her to ask me for all keys to the house. Seeing that I still have a lot of proprty still stored there until I find suitable accom this worrys me somewhat. This is a mutual seperation & there is no bad blood between us but theres still a chance things could go Pete Tong when we start thrashing the finances out at mediation. I was under the impression I can still have acess to the house until Nisi/absolute ( cant rember which) unless there was a restraining order or summat paced against me.

I cant see my solicitor till next Wednesday & if she says its ok then I,ll gladly hand them over. I really dont want to shoot myself in the foot & hand them over now. Aggggh this is so annoying as it makes me feel like some sort of nutter whos gonna storm in & cause trouble. Something that I,m definatly not !!!!! I think the ex wants them when I pick the kids up tonite for the weekend & I need an answer to give why I should,nt please help !!!!! lol.

Dobbs

P.S the house is on a joint morgage between us.

Hi

I wouldn't hand over keys if I were you. You are right in saying that you still have rights to the property (assuming house in held in joint names). Unfortunately there is nothing she can do regarding you accessing the house (unless like you say a restraining order or something was in place)
Your solicitor would probably advise that its common courtesy to ask/advise her if you can attend the property on agreed dates in order to remove property etc.
When my ex left I remained in the house and still do, and she still has keys even now a year later. In the early stages she just used to let herself in whenever she felt like it, even when I was in the bath one time she came bursting in!!!. I have had two of the locks since changed although was advised not to, however she still has keys to one door and lock which I have not changed just so she cant start going on about her rights of access. She has no property whatsoever in there now, but there was a time that she was removing my stuff while I was at work.
Lets hope your situation doesnt go down that route
All the best
Dougie

You are enititled to have access to the house from a legal stand point.

This is more about how she feels rather than a legal issue.

The 'grown up' solution is to agree with her that you will keep the keys for any emergency that might arise, but that you promise not to use for any day to day purpose without getting her approval first.

She really just doesnt want you popping in whenever you like.

Oh , I would never just turn up unannounced. She works all day 3 days a week & I use that time to nip back & get the odd item I need. We had a good chat today when I picked up the kids & spoke about the offers we are going to make at mediation. As it turns out I,m going to do quite well out of it as she is able to buy me out, OK its not as much as I could probally go for but enough to set me up nicely & it will still mean the kids & her can stay in the FMH. All of a sudden I,m really looking forward to the future & not worrying as I have the past few weeks. I,m sooooo glad we are able to sort this out amnicably , its going to make this whole sad process easier. We even joked about the unreasonable behaviour reasons going on the petition !!! lol BTW she could,nt give a sh1t about the keys , she said just drop em off when your done. This divorce is going too easy , summats gotta go wrong soon ??????? Thank you all for your answers guys ,

Dobbs.

Hi Dobbs,


KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED and whatever else that brings you luck!!!!!
Too easy???? Everything seems easy till someone else pokes their nose in!! i.e... solicitors, new partners ect..

Hope it continues down a smooth path for you, i really really do.

But..... just be aware things can change.. and dont let your guard down.

Kind regards
debzz:)

Update, well under a week before mediation, as anticipated "daddy" has stuck his annoying little nose in & thrown a spanner in the works !!! What she now wants is totally unreasonable as basicly I dont have a pot to piss in & that is cold fact. she told me this the day after I saw my solicitor & as I,m not on legal aid , cannot afford to see one again this month !! However some good friends (who have been thro this , both male & female) have told me just to let her have her lil rant & let the mediator put her back to earth as what she wants is well, totally unreasonable !!! put it this way she only wants to give me 20% of the equity when my youngest leaves school now. Thats it. Nothing else. On top of that she wants 30% of my salary to cover morgage & child support !! We only have 2 kids, & she wants me to forfiet any claim on her pension , which is a very , very good one. Should I contact my solicitor again or just let the mediator put her straight ?

Dobbs.

If you post you financial situation we could provide a view on the likely split:

We would need to know:
- length of marriage
- her earning capacity/income
- your earning capacity/income
- number of kids, kids ages
- who will kids live with afterwards, nbr nights with eahc parent
- all assets (incl pensions)
- all debts
(how much of debts/assets did each party have before you got married)