Im tired

Today I again feel at the low of my life.
I resolve one problem
once more another steps into replace it
I sit and realised my emptiness.
I look around and see nothing.
I look back and see nothing.
I look forward and see nothing.
Why?
Because inside there is nothing.
Everything I have ever done or achieved
failures and inadequacies, until,
today I realised, that was it.
I now fall into believing that fact.
That's why I see nothing and feel so empty.
Self esteem. Empty.
Pride. Void.
Worth. None.
Whether I am stood again on a precipice
or fallen into it,
I don't know.
I think I've hit the bottom
It is time for change.
I can no longer feed on upon the past,
for everything done is tainted
with sadness and dissatisfaction.

MRJBS

I haven't checked the blogs yet, but seems to me that you write in a style that lends itself well to blogging. You also write very well. I'm sorry you're tired and completely empathise!Imagine appropriate smiley with bags under eyes.

Yo SKY! Don't be said. You're in a transitional period of low self-worth. All totally understood, and shared by us forum folk.

OK to be tired.
OK to be sad, confused, angry, in dis-belief. All valid stages of loss and grief.

Last night, I looked in here and saw you logged in alone at almost 2am, and I thought, 'what a lonely place this forum is in the dead-of-night, and why we're sat here seeking justice and answers in the dead of the lonely night. (The sols certainly don't lose sleep!).

Beautiful poem Mr. I've printed it out and put on my fridge already.

Don't be sad, just be grateful you have the potential for future happiness.
From my fridge magnet:

IT'S BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST - THAN SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH THE PHYSCO BASTARD!

Amen.

Be well, take rest. Lick your wounds, write poetry.

Sera

xx

like your phrase 'better to have loved and lost....' etc Sera suits me fine. Might put that on my fridge.

Sky it does get better, I was in a terrible state, now I am just in a state

I can smile now, and cry less.

Just hang on in there, and come and chat when you can it helps

Hope you have your windows fixed.

Kind regards

Shelia

Hang in there SykeLord, I have been up many nights trawling the sites on divorce looking for any glimmers of hope that something posted somehwere will help.

Get the windows fixed, be happy you are not with your ex and do you best to keep your spirits up.

Max. I remember the feelings of utter dispair very well and on bad days they come back. Many have trod the path you are on and many will follow us. Its a path to recovory. But do the right things and you will come out of this feeling better and in the end happier. When you do come out of this you will be safe in the knowledge that if you can survive this you can survive anything. I dont think there is a bigger test than this. Chris.

ok here is a different angle to my previous post, this I think youl probably enjoy more. its an extract from my diary site :-)unfortunalety I cant place pictures and music on here as I have on my site just the words the tune that goes with this poem is called rhapsody on a theme of paganini (somewhere in time film tune)


Somewhere in the whirlwind of my days
she waits for me, as I for her
Somewhere in time waits my soul mate,
lover, most treasured eternal friend.
As I live my time here,
does she live out mine there,
waking and sleeping, dreaming of me,
but not understanding where
to find the one who walks through her dreams,
only love who will ever completely be one
with her heart, soul and body, in time’s eternal scheme
Somewhere in time, will I find her, and she me

like sleepers wake from sweetest dream
finding time and space no longer
a barrier they can never traverse,
an obstacle impervious to love’s longings,
a passing dream at best, an unreality at worse.
Somewhere in time will I take her hand
In the future or past will I hear her voice
Somewhere in time will I at last understand
why we have no generational choice,
why I feel so alone in this present land

Somewhere in the maze of my life
the end of the labyrinth of days
will she at last come into sight
and at the end of yearning confusion will be
the endless love of the one
who I search for, who shadows me
will our lips touch, at last
bodies and souls entwine
Somewhere in time