Housing options following separation

My husband split all the finances 50/50 because after he emailed a few times about splitting the finances I didn''t go along with what he wanted quick enough. He now says the share I have is to be used to pay the houehold bills. I still live in the MH (4 bedrooms) while he lives with ow in a 2 bed. He earns over £10 k a month i havent worked for years this suited both of us.He keeps asking if I''ve put the house up for sale which I haven''t 15 months on. This will at sometime have to be done but emotionally it will be difficult for me. My husband chose to move into her house and now says he wants the equity to buy a house of his own.
I was in a panic at the beginning as he wanted to get everything sorted ASAP I''m so glad I didn''t rush into everything. He''s the one now stressing because things aren''t moving as quick as he wants. I have sent all the financial details to my solicitor as my husband does like things to go his way. He understands finance and I don''t, so I do need someone to help with the financial side of things.
I am worried that if I am paying all the bills out of the share my husband has given me eventually this will reduce yet his will sill increase.
Don''t rush or be pushed into anything you aren''t clear about, get a second opinion.
My solicitor said because we have a reasonable amount of equity and properties our finances won''t be that straight forward as my husband thinks. Also my husband hasn''t mentioned SM yet I have read that I should be entitled to it.

Hi Mike,

could really use a pointer to some help here:

My wife and I have been ''Separated'' since january, although we are living in the same house. Did intend to sell and split via mediation, but she needed to finish a degree course, and then became ill so I had to look after her and our two children. No sale could be completed. We are a few weeks away from the Nisi, but her behavious has become really difficult to put up with - checking my phone without permission, verbal abuse in front of the children, etc.

Basically, I want to move out into rented accomodation ASAP, but my wife cannot aford to pay the mortgageon the MFH. It could be months until the house is sold, and even longer until she finds somewhere I would be happy for my children to live (to be honest, the mortgage on our three bedroom house is actually lower than the rent on two bedroom flats I''m looking at). Frankly, I''d rather that she remained in the house until the youngest child was 18 - I''d rather my children didn''t have the upheaval of moving. The mortgage is repayment, but it''s only for 90K on a 250k house.

I don''t have any relatives near me (the closes is nearly two hours drive from where I work).

My solicitor has suggested that I am within my right to give my ex a short period of time to sort her finances out, and then leave. Also, that I will need a placethe children can stay (especially as my wife is likely to be sectioned again at some point)I''m not sure just how practical that is when we have a mortgage. If I just move out, what happens?

Any suggestions about what I could do, or where I could get some more advice?

Regards,

Sav

Oh heck.
What you''re describing is not at all unlike what I had to go through with my own divorce and - apparently - for similar reasons. The difference is that I had no children, and if I had done, there would have been two sets of adoring grandparents to take over the childcare mantle. Yes, I had to have my ex sectioned, and if you knew why, I think most people would agree I had little choice. But I felt like the wicked husband in '' Gaslight '' if you''ve ever watched that Victorian melodrama.
The first thing I will mention is that, on the advice of my boss, I took medical advice on my own account on my wife''s condition, the prognosis and how it was likely to develop.
You say your wife cannot afford to live in the house. But she has to live somewhere. The children need a home, and she is still their mum - illness does not and will not change that.
But when talking aboiut housing options, there is one essential requirement. If your wife is going to live in the former marital home, she must be able to afford to meet the expenses - with the aid of such resources as she has or might acquire. These could include
Her own income, if any
Benefits, including tax credits and child benefit
Child support and ( dare I say it ? ) spousal maintenance.
I think it might be a good idea if we had a talk. If this idea appeals, send me a PM and I can let you have a phone number you can ring..
LMM

Hi Mike

Had to post to say thank you SO MUCH for this doc, it has really helped to clear my head about my issue.

I have been amicably separated for 4 years and really need to get on with sorting the divorce.

We have no issues or aguments over the children, my only concern is over the jointly owned house & making sure I don''t lose out on my share.

He claims he cannot afford to buy me out & I know he doesn''t want to sell (I think he will be there forever TBH, he is that type).
I am living with children on very low income though & need my name off it so I can claim housing benefit to ease things.

Do I read correctly form your document that we can make an arrangement where he pays me back over time? As I don''t really want to wait til he''s dead (we are only 40 lol) but would be happy enough with an agreed yearly sum

Your mention of housing benefit set a few alarm bells ringing.
Housing benefit is means tested - in plain English, that means that you can get it only where you have income or capital below certain limits. Above those limits your benefit will either be reduced or cancelled altogether.
So there is a danger for you that if, for example, you get your capital repaid by monthly instalments, the money will simply be deducted from your benefits and you are no better off.
There is a certain flexibility inasmuch as you are allowed to draw down capital for legitimate reasons. If for washing machine breaks down you can buy a new one. You can repay debts or buy clothes and other essentials. You might even be able to take a modest holiday, but not to the Bauer-Grunwald in Venice. The point is, you are not allowed to spend recklessly to deprive yourself of capital to bring yourself within the scope of means tested benefits. You will not go to jail if you do ; it will simply be assumed you still had the money.
The fact that you have an interest in a house which, for one reason or another, you are unable to realise does not, I think, prevent you from applying for housing benefit ( HB ). Normally of course you can''t get HB for more than one house.
I am glad you found the article helpful, that being, of course, the reason why I wrote it. Actually I know rather more about housing than I about divorce and have certainly practised in this field.
My own view is that I do not think that capital which is tied up in a house and which may not be realised for many years should affect your benefit. As regulations can change I advise checking with a CAB, though I think this is a bit beyond the average non-specialist adviser.
However the charge must be realisable at some defined point in the future : it can''t be left open ended.
As a minimum it should be realisable upon
(a) sale
(b) his death
(c) voluntary vacation of the property for say x months
(d) his re-marriage and possibly cohabitation for say 6 - 12 months.
LMM

It is a really useful article. Thanks.
Its a shame that there are no hard and fast rules, so decisions would be easier. Also it seems unfair that different judges can make different decisions.
Seems like a lot of luck is involved.

I am in the family home, in both names. Ex bought a house when he left. Lent some of the money from this mortgage, which I pay.

He cant afford to live in his house as he got into financial difficulties, so has rented it out.

I wont get much of a mortgage (low income), so need to realise as much of the equity as possible. I have 3 dependent children and one in Uni, who still needs a home.

He pays no maintenance and has threatened bankruptcy (which I mentioned before).

So trying to come to agreement with him, although we have a court date, because has delayed all the way.

I cant seem to make any decision over this.

Really feel my solicitor is not the best too.

Hard times, but just need an end to it.

p.s he has a fixed lump pension worth the same as equity in house. He wants proportion of equity to realise some money now.

a response to this will be appreciated.